::~looking through the eye glass~::

2003-11-29T09:15:00.000-08:00

b.a.c.k.f.o.r.a.n.i.t.e.
I am back fer a nite in this house i think so makin use of it to update muah darling blog that somehow i have abandon fer so long >.< , todae was reali bad, ain't duno wads goin on wid the world or rather muah family a clash between thinking, moods and everything possible u try to imagine, they are like a jumble of chaos u try to mix together, a deadly toxic mixture tt would juz poision u to death if u ain't know wad it is. Yeah its tt bad wellz guess this are the few Dwns my family expierence, though he told me to relax and juz play the flow, i still could not stand the fact that ppl blame me fer thingz i ain't done, and i know that i ain't the part of fault in it. MADNESS i would sae.

Neway went fer wedding service todae, the gurl is Sweet wae sweet she is pretty sweet everything u can imagine fer a gurl so oriental lookin =D gotta see man poor us was in a hurry haha din take pics wid em at all >.< .Other than tt i realise vics yeah a frewn of mine, he looks like jay chow man *pts at links* u ppl gotta see it fer urself . Kaez dropping by soonx time to talk to him after playing gb . hopes he could cheer up a tinny winny bit. blah His mood is scarying me ~>.<~

2003-11-24T21:46:00.000-08:00

Percayalah.hati.ini.hanya.ada.sama.dia.bukan.kamu
Each story ends with a chapter closing, doesn't mean if u are no more a part of my life now, i will forget u... as every chapter plays a crutial part of my life, without one chapter my life wun be complete in a way or another. No matter how much pain we expirence when we are together, i still smile at ur presence though it seems that we are total stranger now. My smiles towards u are still as warm as before, maybe we are meant to be frewns from the begining, and its beta this wae.U walk ur wae, and i walk mine, occasional exchange of greetings and hugs. My virtue and priority in life has changed, no more has it become love, it has become my future, i m no more the old naive Pam u noe. Thingz change, u may no longer noe me tt well, as i have not known u now, in my heart u will never change, but what i see is different than wad i noe, u are a stranger no longer the person i got to know n fall in love with. Now that i found someone else, someone of my present not my past.U turned around from your road facing me, asking me to give u another chance. I am sorry i cannot give u a chance, not now, maybe not in the future, u told me, that i meant alot, than ask urself y din u treasure me than.

The world is turning and keeps turning, time doesn't stop juz because u love me that deep. I thank you for loving me, i wun shun u aside but i will only treat u as a gd frewn,i hope u understand. Hope you will learn somedae to let me go and continue to go insearch of someone u love and could love you back. You will always be my love at one point of time, but now tt part has closes. You will always be inside my heart as a frewn =) thank you for everything

for the few that noes wad i m talkin abt , time slowly heals and replace everything =)

2003-11-24T06:52:00.000-08:00

Hari Raya
*prayers* <--- can hear these from my room *looks out* raining damn heavy now, these are the few daes tt make my heart reali dwn but well haha thingz ain't tt bad ok ^.^ infact thingz are good that now basically thingz are sorted out.
In barely a few more hrs it would be Hari Raya, and i wanna wish those malay frewns of mine Happy Hari Raya (sounds weird, am sure they sae something diff hmmm ) , mohon maaf lahir dan batin (hope spelling correct and hope i m allowed to sae it).Neighbours been bringing food over to the hse, chicken, opor ayam,semur , all the malay food *droolz* but still no appitite to eat. But trust me its reali good, u ppl should try one dae *thumbs up*

This would be my last post of this week till sat or maybe sundae coz i would be residenting in the other place, up town =), but would be back over the weekend coz got wedding ceremony to attend, sheese~ my child hood pal is getting married, we used to be playin in the garden acting like monkeys and now all of my pals (mothers frewns children etc.)have become either elegant women of oriental beauty, pure charm, Or have turned into a real gentleman wid husky distinct abt them. Scary to see so mani of em changes, missed the old times. Now no more trying to get mango from the tree, but more of evening tea at each other hse or chatting up. I cannot imagine wad i would be in 10 years time, wellz i definately hope i would be of someone different and have made my mark in the society. A dream i yearn to fulfill, and will work towards to =)

Suddenly missed so mani thingz and ppl, but i definately miss these ppl tons, Dar, Owner and Gen the few crazy idotz tt cheer me up like as if they were born clown, hahahha wellz~ bzbz when i m back in sg soonx. Gotta definately meet up wid old sec skool pals, gossip abit , be abit bitchy~ hahah but still miss those times too, lookin back its reali fast, i m outta of sec skool into poly, hell thingz are reali speeding up end of year, xmas ard corner too~ *jiggly~*

Reali long since i typed so much =) wellz guess gtg before i bore anione to their apple core, TAke care Ppl, see ya reali Soonx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *muacks*

~^ thousand smiles each time u call ^~

2003-11-19T09:01:00.000-08:00

*grinz*
WEeEEee~ i m back in Jkt, for already lets sae since last SaT, 15th of nov. yeah been tt long since i updated, din reali have time, only time i have is now, using the internet connection of my uncle compay, hope its ok =) wellz~ hmmm i would sae something i m now wid someone =D, reali nice guy, though it would be a LDR but yeah hope it does well.... to everyone out there I MISS U ALL, i m surely coming back soonx, been doing SAT goin out much~ can't wait till 25th *GRINZ*

2003-11-06T08:36:00.000-08:00

nutz

taken from the anime. boys be

Been pretty much a week since i blogged anithing down, wellz not that anithing new has happen, but i guess should be more regular abt this rite *grinz*. Nothing much been groovin, spend half my time watching anime current show in da windows player would be "Prince of Tennis", abt this boy called "ryoma echizen" who is a freshman but plays reali gd tennis, and abt a group of tennis players who have different characteristic but still manage to help each other on the wae morally.

Other than tt been reali into SAT, gotta sit fer it in jan, barely two months before the date, juz got the books i pretty much need todae from Times and Kino. Wellz need another one in dec fer real practice. Man, i m so goin to die into four pieces, maybe coz i m aiming high, coz maybe i juz wanna do reali well and come out tops, whichever way it maybe, i noe i need to do pretty well.Went dwn adidas to get my cap *grinz* its B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. yeah, i noe been cranky todae =.=", ate at Sakae sushi, trust me i was abt to burst it was woah~ *winks*, went dwn and ard and ended up watching matrix revolution which was.... e-h-o-k.

The show was pretty okie, effects is cool but the ppl in the cinema *complains* , got these three fillipino, i god noes maids or wad, but they are freakin noisy, firstly they reali duno how to whisper, seconds legs in the air, i mean yeah i do tt when no one is infront of me but hey I m infront okiez. Than eat peanuts in cinema, u can literary hear the "clacking" sound of it, at first i really thought they were maids, but when show ended and i look at em, they seem to dress pretty gd, guess its the ppl aye *shake head*, man i shalln't bitch abt em animore, gotta do my stuff now. cya ppl =D

2003-10-30T05:32:00.000-08:00

walking dwn the road

looks like a band album cover~

as usual nothing much up~ juz tt there is this god brother of mine in my life, aniway onegai twins is reali cute u ppl should watch =D its reali adorable esp tt maria-chan(also known earlier as chibi-chan) and karen who always go NYU~~~~~ before she faints hehee reali should go dwnload =D at http://a.scarywater.net/live-evil/
heheh~ kk shall update more =D tml halloween kewl~.

the past few daes been watching movie, one comment THE PARK and WISHER not gd NONONO NOt gd~ should watch scary movie three its reali farni and "INTOLERABLE cruelty" its realireali nice, farni kinda nice and tt women is so bea-u-ti-ful~

the end fer now

p.s sorry fer the short blog entry not much mood

2003-10-23T06:56:00.000-07:00

Sentosa

wads tt~

blured shagged look -owner n me-

me and owner

sentosa evening

Long time since i went to sentosa hehe, bought some stuff from cold storage and went to eat at siloso beach, though a week dae quite a few ppl, exams are over at last, but this last paper no confindence at all =| wellz~ at least its all over, now time to enjoy, haha been so long since i went out wid owner properly~ mondae!!!!!!! yeah mondae we shall come back here n tan =D hehe~ i miss the old times =D

2003-10-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

tweet.tweet
Spend the past few days probably trying to get as much sleep as i probably would need to, Psp paper was abit the crazy boonx ,definately sure its goin to pull dwn like the rest of the so called good results i got from the first ca *clench fist* wellz like they sae its over nothing i can do either *sigh*

fooLs man foOls i juz maybe din study tt hard =( well neway,fever struck me, so mama made me go home n sleep fer a fairly 6hrs, guess my "supposingly happy" saturdae turn out to be fairly dumb, and rubbish infested.

today woke up earli in the morning *looks at clock* okiez maybe nt tt earli abt 10+ trying to get thingz done, din study at all fer my Fs test which was due tml, rite *i m so goin to fail* haix... duno wad gotten over me these few weeks, body totally ready to juz collapse*bOinkx*, so week so fragile all asudden~... Juz finished a fairly look through wid nothing done. hope how huei tai does his work could help me *looks at 6hrs study n sleep* hmmmm maybe it might. Good to try out.did i sae before his guitar is reali gd, esp the undecided demo *GRINZ* if u r seeing this HT, its reali gd trust me =)

kaez i guess reali nothing could be done to salvage wad eva my brain has now... guess its time to go to sleep and meet the fellow frewns in the gates =) *poofs*

2003-10-16T09:39:00.000-07:00

marks
Have u ever wondered y sometimes,
we lose the person we love most without realising,
only in the end when we awaken from our own senseless feelings.
That we realise we not only hurt the person that love us most,
but also that we love the person even more than we have ever imagined?

pages after pages after i wrote em,
no tears brimming at my eyes,
cold heartedly i handed you the letter
emotionally blocked, numb, senseless, everything.
Our last walk that we shared at the soft sand,
you did not find anithing queer.
I left you with a hug i will always remember.
3 years dwn the road since than,
i still remember the spot where we last parted,
emotions rushed down on my stupid action.
Regret is something i have learnt.
It was all too late when i realise i love u,
thingz have changed,
where you are i do not know.
Under the night moon,
i gaze to wish you a goodnite i never had the chance to say.
Hope you will glace at the sky,
and rememeber my presence fer once.
I just want to sae if you ever come across my path again,
that i never stop loving you deep inside.
Even how small the space is,
your prints in me embeded real deep.
thankyou for everything,
wishing upon a bright star,
that you are safe under the sky's blanket.

2003-10-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

ain't.workin
my brain is juz not workin, suppose to be studying but todae i was reali cranky, my temper was woah~ wellz not that i was pmsing but its coz i duno.... haix.. cannot seem to get anithing done at all, all i have in me is the play mood which is terrible,EXAMS pam EXAMS... rite tts not takin effect *snarls*

The only sweet thing todae was the article abt Raymond, glad he made it so far n gd hehe, reali am happy fer him, guess he would soon make a name fer himself really well =).

My mood todae is abit off and on, sometymz trying to smile other times, its like my heart sank a million depth deeper... i duno wads goin on in me. I really wish to noe wads goin on.... guess back to my maths, i reali wanna do well haix~ is like now i m totally lost paper is less than a week time, gawd...

missing someone from the past, wish a deeper strength to stand, that piece of music ringing in my ear, the suddeness and swelling feeling in me, juz hurts so much... letting go is nt an option but juz when can i really let go

2003-10-12T06:02:00.000-07:00

sTudy dae

wooo a change from my norm

Yeah as the title said i was let me sae again was suppose to go swimming than study wid Gen but~ guess what we ended up doing ... oh yeah thingz that gurls love to do, shop~! okiez nt tt its bad other than i probably goin to live the next whole week on pao and Qoo, lemon kiss.Other than tt , i din serve my purpose to study *biOnks* wellz~ i did umm open my notes hehe and stop at discrete probability and function, thats abt it~ haha me n my smart brain wanted to watch movie but it was at 7 and i din wan go home tt late, so tsktsk we ended up shopping.

The necklace in the picture was reali pretty and it look pretty well on me, so i ended up buying it, coz my old cross has been wid me fer the past *counts*7 years tsktsk thingz , gotta go on wid the new one *locks the old awae*

There was this car exibition thingy at taka ~ wooO celica, wellz nt tt its great in performance or something but~ its realli pretty fer a gurl hehe and wad more i guess its the most dreamable car so far, saw this RX-8 not tt pretty as RX-7, wellz~ wad to do~ gotta grow up, work and stuff first before i m able to get tt kinda car and maintain it well *shakez head*

Pam,wake up stop dreaming, i suppose i gotta go back studying reali muz find tt kinda excitement and will to study haix~ *digs fer it *

one dae i shall become wad i wanna be, make my mama proud, and those ard who loves me and sacrifice so much fer me. i will make a name fer myself in the IT and FAshion world... i will dream and shall make it come true!!

2003-10-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

ProjEcTx end

taken yesterdae cute worz =p

Woah at last i finish my projects officially finish my psp, thanks with the help of fengnan hehe~ todae everything juz got pretty cranky ain't know really y~, went swimming in da morning onli to bathe later onz and find myself lookin like i entered some "ultra blackening room" haha, i look like a burnt kid! tsktsk... wellz we all juz came fer 2 hr practical which we din reali do that much.

went town wid faz n tens, and WoAH i saw jac they all erin haha so surprising , all of em saw me and gave me this farni look like "pam u have changed so much" wellz tts wad ppl sae when they haben see me fer a long long time esp after poly started hehe...

Yesterdae was hell, coz Matt was sick no one told us in the end we came to skool wid 4 hrs break=.=" ended up me n gen n jean went dwn town n shop =X got two tops from paperdoll reali kwel!~ and i saw the set up fer some fashion thingy in taka,! i wanna be part of it somedae =p

guess thats abt it to blog fer now~

2003-10-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

REST~
At last a dae to rest been reali a week plus since i blogged anithing, been reali bz wid the immf project half the time trying to think of creative ideas and stuff to enhance the site, and yeah yeah yeah its done n finally over yesterdae~!.

Got the 8310 from chris and gave mama my samsung s300, wellz juz pray she dun break it into a million pieces like wad she did to her other fone =.=", finally took my pay yesterdae, bank it in todae, and first time last nite that i slept in perfect peace. But tt was the last of projects, yezterdae came another one........ pSP, god u ask me do programming its equal as makin a baby understand chemistry, guess i m gonna be super bz again.... miss those old frewns i have, ain't much time to spare for em, yesterdae was out wid tens, dang tired but dundare tell her..... hiakx~ wellz life is goin gd tts one thing.... but wads really tiring is projects n exams..... gotta do well~

well wad i realise is tt my class hmmm its kinda weird, shalln't elaborate... wun wan anithing that is not mean for others ears to get to em~.

2003-09-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

*shake head*
Ain't understand y some ppl are so childish, mind sets are juz so different. Been up the whole evening trying to get my ocom project and presentation to zoom well off, and now left immf n iac which is tml, i gotta totally concentrate on poor immf, its killing me every bit... brain cells juz seems to shrink 24/24/1 tsktsk this is bad....

Sam and Perlin came over to np to find me, coz sam gotta return me da fone, talked awhile and catched up wid em... not bad, din realise its been a real long time since i sat at a place drink kopi n talk to em, gotta do tt reali soonx, skool juz occupy me more than 24/7, its became a major hoo haa of my life, ain't know if it is suppose to be gd or bad -_-" They went off to go fer steamboat, i miss tt tooo~ but guess i gotta save money, goin to by over chris' 8310 fer about $220 tsktsk, hope i dun hab to fight over tt fone wid mama, she likez it and she lost her fone, but i m so not intending to pass her tt fone, hehehe i wanna pass her my fone.

No there is nothing wrong wid s300 juz that its a flip fone, and god do i have to remind u ppl i ain't ani demure gurl.blah~Went off to town in noon to get my pants fer formal presentation, i look so adult, scarY~ *looks at age* -phew- than we, who are suppose to go save money end up spending on takapochi(think this is the spelling) and ban mian.....how terrible of us.... tsktsk .now muz save *jia you*~

2003-09-25T10:54:00.000-07:00

Chicken chinese

Felt like its been so long since i blogged but guess wad it was only 4 daes that i din, i moved the desktop into my room and suddenly the stupid project gotten into me, now my mp3s are basically rap tsktsk.

Juz finished my Ocom project and self reflection project , zoomed of into the kitchen boiled water and make a "lots-a-noddle" <- yeah its tt, definately not gd tasting, but sheese mama went to meet her friends i think they are chatting awae over cnn as usual, leaving me alone trying to study... tsktsk i still got immf frames to do, ne ways i m so goin to get a 8310, i have s300 but...... its scary flip fones n me juz dun go, so guess gonna let mama take it or something, hope she doesn't break another flip fone *prays*

Din realise Matt and chris are on friendsters kwel aye, joanna is so pretty now *drools* haha okiez enuff fer now~ i shall take my leave *bows* back to the comp screen

2003-09-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

Dinner

dinner at swensens
Did this wid photoshop, was fiddling ard, wid a heavy head.Juz came back from flag dae, thank god i was not the one askin fer flags or nt i probably die of heart attack. Did 12 hours of it, brain fried or rather frozen wid the cold weather... There was this interesting malay wedding, nice one too *impressed* aniway headed dwn to city hall to find prawn they all onli to realise they walked to suntect, so we went to find em and talked awhile as usual....

Followed em to City hall and decided to go off home since it was late and i was dead tired and starting to get reali reali cranky, we stoped at douby( me and faz) onli to realise that we should hab dinner after all, so we dragged Tens outta the mrt into PS. had mos fer dinner( tsk growing reali fat) aniway... we all took a cab home after that... now i m planning fer my project duno wad to do, brain nt workin think i goin to do some art work tonite drawing =| . tsktsk.... onli left 12 daes to do *faints*

2003-09-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

Bitter sweet

In life sometimes, we make mistakes and sometimes tt mistakes haunt us deep, i duno y but juz now when i was talkin to dar abt something... i feel a sudden pain in the heart... i juz felt like... the world turn upside dwn, bitter sweet roll dwn my cheeks, it ain't his fault..... i juz felt i need to break dwn. Keeping it long enuff.... at last the tears decided to roll out... Can it heal wad hab been done to me? Can i erase, i so wish i had him ard me.... i juz wan to hug him and let out my emotions, but everything is empty...he is at home..... engross wid his mTv =.=" hiakx... i duno.... i juz feel like.. maybe i should be the one fading behind into the back ground and maybe i wun be noticed..... yeah....i shouldn't come near too mani ppl, knowing wad would happen to em... and my character.Born a loner, shall be one, and staying that way would be gd.

2003-09-15T01:21:00.000-07:00

Results
Din have ani picture to add to this entry coz i m in skool, during PSP practical juz got my results if u realise after seeing my entry in my shout box the previous entry....Before this i had FS and that subject reali show my damn stupidity... I did a question and i got it correct but my stupid bear instinct got the better of me *STABS SELF* and i cancel it, if i din....... i would have gotten an A (80 marks) fer my FS and i would have A for everything...... haix.... Any way like wad dar saes, at least i go two As' more over two A+ wad more can i be satisfied, well i was more of.... expecting reali gd fer this time coz... its the onli first test eva, how can i do badly,if i did.... how can i eva do well in the rest of the subx later on, sumore mama have such high expectation on me..... wun be gd disappointing her would i...

To ppl who noes me fer a long time, no i have not mutated in the brain, no... i have not gone crazy all a sudden..... nor am i starting to mix ard with the intellects...than y am i so crazy abt results suddenly... i realise our future of our generation is pretty much bleak, was talkin to John chua tt dae...... wad he sae made totally sense and it kinda wake me up, "we can always either follow the booming industry or do the general skills" this made me reali wake up, a boom there is up n dwn, like the IT boom and the soon to come biomedical-science boom... Now my brain is full of questions, wad would be gd to take?

Ppl might question me, y study so hard u r a female sooner or later goin to be married and husband providing u with everything... y do u want to study like mad...wellz cannot always depends too much aye u will never know...okiez bah back to stupid PSP practical *poofs*

2003-09-14T08:01:00.000-07:00

Sunday

Muah new fone

Its not that i hate my 3650 but guess its coz, its reali batt consuming, cun reali take it, esp yesterdae, i was workin at this soccer carnival and guess wad... fone low batt before i even reached the place, and i ferget abt my extra batt, smart of me, felt reali uncomfy w/o my fone *argh~*.and its abit too big *stare at it* bleah, i got a digi cam so need not much of the camp function haha, so i gather its gd to change.

Yezterdae's kids soccer is kwel, so mani cute little kids, i m so mesmerised by em hehe, esp adrian and his brother, they got reali beautiful eyes, so smooth n cute.. *falls in lurve wid em, kids* blah

Went through certain blogs todae, found that thingz in my frewns world ain't doin pretty well,yesterdae i was abit dwn wid something thank god to my dar dar i felt reali gd( okiez nt my real dar, but we call each other dar) though he din noe i was rather off, but he as always is sweet, lifted up my spirits =) ...

Wun be blogging much todae, not in the mood, blah~ onli to know tml muz use landyard again *mutters* -poof-

2003-09-11T18:25:00.000-07:00

Turn Left Turn Right

From the movie Turn left Turn right.

Turn left turn right is based on a best selling illustrated love story of the same name by renowned taiwanese author Jimmy Liao.Utilizing images as a refreshing form of literary language,Jimmy creates in his books poetic pictures that are charming and appealing.

The film tells the simple.whimsical story of a lonely man played by Takeshi Kaneshiro and a women, played by Gigi Leung,who lived in the same appartment building,yet,due to their habitually quirky comings and goings,have never met. Following a chance encounter in the park,events, meddling acquaintances and pure bad luck conspire to keep the would-be lovers apart as each makes plans to change their lives and leave the past behind.

This is taken from the website http://www.turnleftturnright.com

2003-09-10T10:24:00.000-07:00

Phone

A screenshot a day

Laughter always fill the air when i m in skool, never a day i would not have laughter ringing in my ears, never would i one day leave the skool wid a sulk on my face.Its the people that is ard me and the rest that makes it so hillarious and i guess thats wad u call great company!

Mr chris and Matt always makez us laff our asses off, they are reali cool, guess mistaken Matt fer someone ain't too gd earlier on during the first few weeks of class, but i guess as time passes u reali get to know the true self of em...gotten a few of our results out, i got a B+ for Fs and a A+ for Immf( proves i should do gd in multimedia) and a B for Jap speakin test,we were doing our work in the workshop when i was jokkin ard like a monkey as usual or rather a bear wid oversize paws, that was when i realise someone was staring at me through the glass door, the moment i turn ard, i wanted to scream, y.... oh i m so not a drama queen dun worry.~ the main reason was John was at the doorway, scary okiez*nods dreadly* wid his hairless work of art, he looks reali like a ghost outta to revenge on us,blah~ he din seemed to please wid thingz though, but somehow we pestered him for our results and a question on tutorial...

I still remmeber wad he said before he left "u ppl din too badly, but especially the gurls, u all talk all the time" and my daring response to that was "thats y we are so bubbly and friendly thats y we are so alive" blah, pretty daring i would sae, but heck hehe it came out rite*rubs eyes* i m goin to close my eyes soonx, my screen seems to be goin up n dwn over n over again like its bouncing~ guess time to hit the burrow~

2003-09-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

Hugz

Each step we take, we share the moments of happiness and sadness, gone through thick and thin, thank you for always being there always =).

Nearly drove everyone around me go mad again, owner, faz, name it all u got it, well not all frankly but guess i drove my dog and mom to their wits end.I stepped out of the house knowing i was suppose to head fer MR doc. ain't helping wid my nose running like a broken hidge tap, and my throat like a ever rumbling volcano, every min makin those *ouff ouff* sound.Dragged every bit of my workin muscle and joints outta the hse to meet the dooms of medication piling infront of my nose, oh yeah and goin to the doc fer 7 kinda med, tt cost me a total of 46 buckaroos, no wonder doctors are all well-to-do ppl.

The farniest thing is tt, mama thought i was goin skool, skool thought i was at home resting, but me.....wellz been a bad oh yeah b-a-d gurl todae, i went out. Ok tt din come out totally right, but hey~ i did some constructive things todae okiez..umm i went dwn to the gym *blinks innocently* nownow i noe u probably muttering something against me, blah but yeah,hahah 45 min in the treadmill was nt tt bad, found new interesting info on an old, abandon CLEO june 2001 version that was chucked on the shelf near the equipments...*rubs chin*.

We strolled ard and settled for the always ever ban mian dinner, while waiting fer Fuzzy to come, a quater through our food, Fuz came standing so close to us but, stupifid fool din see us, even called us to ask where we were -_- the cause of stress,met stace her gf, nana and her stead too.. i was like, woah, din realise she was there haha duno wad stace was giggling abt though (have i changed reali tt much *blured*) We proceeded the scramble into the cinema as we were late and catching the 6.15pm show "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" farni show .... Johnny Depp is reali a gd actor, he reali noes how to humour his viewers *nods*

The day ended wid us leaving the juz getting bz town area, wid crowds of ppl who usually do nite shopping, goin back to the urban homes of ours,a horrible start a beautiful ending, how ironic.

2003-09-08T09:27:00.000-07:00

Rainy dae~

Silent wind blew at me, rain drops cover the pale walk way...

Raining at last,strong winds blew, a nice n cooling nite a gd time to sleep real tight...Today was a fairly fine day, other than the fact that i had the worst bad hair dae in centuries and that i was coughing like i was goin to cough out my lungs...Gen din come skool todae, totally fallen into the world of virus(flu i gather),me like madly coughing, disrupting anithing that the teacher probably would wanna sae..Mr john chua , oh yeah my Fs teacher haha had his head skin bald, goodness aye~ he look like he is dwn wid some terminal illness or he was goin to attend monkstry skool soonx haha, okiez but he indeed look much neater w/o his uncombed hair, hilarious though... Saw Benny been long since i saw him haha suave as eva, cute aye *pinch pinch* like small kid..he was walkin from blk 31-01 than his frewn noticed Mr chua haha, nice wae aye...

Been sick fer the past few daes, close to a week, twice since skool start this is terrible, cough, flu and sore throat wad can be worst, Mr chua seems to have short memory too haha, first thing when he see yi da n me he was like" been a long time since i saw u two" i was like"huh" i was onli on mc on week 5 and now is week 10 =.=" and haha edison was saying"oh we went to sentosa together"hahaha.Imagine if i fall sick once a mth, by end of one year i prob die in heaven, and my medical bills as sky high *Shake head*

Neways saw this guy juz now so cute look like David Tao so mesmerized by him haha.... but i guess yeah~ juz a candy eye... okok wellz frankly the onli guy that caught my attention since i started poly =p gosh i m so becoming super slow . Gotta drink the soup my mama Bu no more Johnny's black soup*faints*..*psst* thank goodness, Johnny if u see this =p next tym dun attempt to bu ani tang fer me okiez~?=p

2003-09-07T18:27:00.000-07:00

skoolday

getting ready fer skool tsktsk usual stuff laptop and bag, dun ask me anithing abt my bed, colour cordi wrong i noe, nt my fav, sheet nor pillow either...

Woke up wid a start, alarm was ringing next to my ear and i juz sat up on the bed, first thing on my mind, i m goin to be late late late.... turned stare blankly at the alarm clock to realise its 8... Wad can be more worst starting out on a blueblue monday, wid the alarm ringing at u.

You gotta be wondering wad am i doing so late online, wellz yeah i noe i m suppose to eat breakfast, bathe n get my arse to mrt station by 10 and that is like 40 min more...Think i m goin to make it in time? i beta~ i shall fer once nt be ultra late fer lecture, not get into the wrong lecture room, nor to drag time.... so i guess off i go~ enjoy ya!!!

2003-09-07T07:18:00.000-07:00

photography
Long time hobby juz haben got the time, i need to buy new batt fer my old camera so tt it would work and i would be able to get real snapx of pictures instead of digi, not saying tt digi is not gd, but somehow they cannot reali capture the true beauty of pictures,was reading national geographic juz now at some book shop, which i cun remember some how it suddenly lit up,since after exams i would like to take a week break, y dun i start reliving wad i have left alone :) pretty smart aye.. was planning that every entry i would add a picture, be it of anithing, which onli means one thing~ everydae bring digi cam ard...

Everydae a pic that would best describe tt particular day, it would be a great hobby too~ which also means time to get a bigger memory stick and also.. a proper casing!! hmmm yeah there are so mani scratches on the digi cam, abit xing tong,thinkin of getting something like tt exlim or something on second thoughts i was reali gian wid the lara croft one and the one vicky zhao uses in "so close" hmm die i m goin crazy over gadgets again *bang wall*

Aniway its a gd wae fer me to save up :p and here is a pic..

doggy wearing shoes,yeah~ he seems cute rite *pinches*

2003-09-06T23:19:00.000-07:00

Exams are over!
Woah at last man exams are over since yesterdae, at last no more late nightz over books and subjects,i can sleep in peace w/o thinkin that i m goin to be late fer exams or that i wun be able to do it!! blah added a few things on the wish list after goin out yesterdae, this pierre cardin wallet caught my attention though it izn't reali something i imagined it to be, coz of the material but it is b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l, juz tt yesterdae i spent close to a hundred so i dare not spurge animore *twinkles* and this yellow stripes and pure black gym bag, its huge but perfect~

I think i have been over spending ever since the mth started, spent 42 on a new pair of shades but it looks awesome!!! wellz goin to go out again later and do abit of shopping wid james,his brother went back yesterdae and todae he is goin back hehe at last no nid to entertain guest le =)...

Though exams are over but projects are everywhere =.=" gotta not lag, cun afford to repeat ani modules esp wid the teachers face ard, certain teachers *glare*

the new shades i bought~at the back the pillow i bought at ikea wid owner =) nice rite wahahha i meant the shades

2003-09-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

madhatter

goin mad over quizes again....

Yoshimi - "Happy Beauty"
Sponsored by www.life-blood.cjb.net

What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizillareminds me So~ of jap class haha

Lord of the Rings!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-09-04T07:02:00.000-07:00

*sniffles*
hey ppl i wun be w riting till next week this week damn bz wid studies exam week, three paper dwn, one more to go and now i m half wae through my sicky daez, bad case of flu tsktsk.... thanks shannen fer the lay out but guess hmmm it ain't much me bleah~ gonna change it abit when i m free meanwhile thanks once again *hugz*

2003-08-30T09:45:00.000-07:00

*yawns*
Dunno wads goin out wid the minds of some people. A moment they sae they lurve this person, next they sae they ain't gd enuff. wads more fustrating is they ask fer patch than accuse their partners on cheating on em in previous times. Wad da hell do they wan, out to raise more high blood pressure ppl ard aye. Gd fer the hospitals, bad fer those we care...period.

Okie enuff of wads pissing me off, meet Fazel after his last paper ,was suppose to meet him at somerset at some disclosed time but me being always the late one, was once again late, but hey at least i remembered his bear , we walked up the escalator and saw Tony at first i was like Uh? Than i saw Lex both doing flags, i was like " god did i miss some Is thingy" *paincks* but onli to realise, they were doing their IaC hours..*duh*, found 10cents in my wallet and made poor Faz take out his n gave em all the coins he had.We went to Hilton and found out clearly abt Bond Uni, guess i m heading there next year mid i gather, tsktsk found the prospects and obviously got some great info on double degree and
others, we waited fer Owner to come....... wait n wait.... (acclaimed traffic jam).

When she came ,she n faz decided to watch =tale of two sisters= oh no , i din wan, so i juz rooted there, somehow they dragged me to cine and it din have tt show , fated hehehe, but no~ they had to drag me to Ps ,*faints* in the end the movie was sold out or something and we din watch it, coz faz had to leave to have swensens wid his family(some uncle ani.) so me n owner went to watch "oh happy day",b4 that i went to buy a new pair of jeans and we went Body shop, duno how i shop on products until me n owner combine can get Privillage card =.=" than...... we went to eat pasta mania it was g-o-o-d ummm the country baked pasta is fabz~*drools* i m so goin to feast on tt everytym i go there!!! and ummm gd ppl exsist in PM(pasta Mania) *eyes twinkle*

2003-08-29T07:18:00.000-07:00

fustration
Blardy modem juz got on every bit of my nerves its stepping on wad it should nt be, as i m typing this the blardy modem juz did a split to tell its unhappiness towards me again. Ain't know wad i did towards the modem but yeah, its showing displeasure ! wad the... so mani thingz been happening as usual , but me being a gd gurl stayed home to dae n yesterdae , tsktsk first tym aye.Owner if u r reading this i gather u muz be rolling ur eyes, at last the week end and i will be able to see u (muack muacks* mizz u a dozen milez.

Juz read something that Ben wrote abt Mag and Mag abt Ben, sweet iderts aren't they," love pure and white" hmmm blah blah blah from Romeo n Juliet.....*stare at the last sentance* okiez think i m goin pretty much unbalanced soonx, when ever i get too poetic everyone noes to stay clear of me~,sheese it died on me again.....*ARGGGGH* i m getting so gRrrR okiez, i beta hit my books fer once todae.

After next week i can officially cool dwn n relax fer now, before i start throwing my modem on the floor i beta take my leave *bows*

2003-08-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

withdraw
Guess todae was partially the worst day of my life, not exactly but i feel dang bad abt wasting mama money fer not attending poor piano exam. I know its partially my fault that i din turn up coz i knew i was only goin to fail,i barely know how to play properly.I have decided to do wad james always tell me "dun keep pushing thingz back" i m goin to start practicing and aim fer a distinction in grade 8, can i do it, u betcha!!! now wish james was here to push me along the wae like wad he did last minute fer my grade 7 exam, it was coz of him i passed.

So mani things happen within the few days, yezterdae while swimming we saw matt , surely din expect him to be swimming too , and there was some cca presentation. It felt really good been such long time since i last swam across, i m goin to do more of that to train myself.After swimming i and gen was having our usual parta, tsktsk when am i ever goin to loose weight that wae, more over after tt we felt reali drowsy and our nice Gen gen curled up on the couch and zzzz haha.

After that headed dwn to Lot1 to meet Sam, Perlin, Shannen,Nick(ummm sam's RoMeO~),Ewen (nice name sound like something from LOTR) hmmm so mystical,together wid Faz, i was waiting fer Faz until i was like Near- To- Sleep state than i headed first dwn to cck, and in the end he called to tell me he finish 10 min after i board the train =| . We went to pizza hut had a few laffs and talk, long time din see em all, guess i was reali bz, even Sam saes that i look pretty dead haha.. tsktsk wad life do to me *shake head*than we headed to our own homez, saw bell on the wae hehe.. she looks cute in pink. Aniway, Ewen reminds me of someone, but juz cun place the face, he is cute aye, he n Perlin look so compatiblly cute bleah *giggles*. Well... fer me another dae passes the same. Day by day either books , letters or shit thingz get passed to me, i seriously need a major break soonx!

Gen, Me and Ruoling, its a shame the guys din wanna come haha,ummm and i manage to tie my hair, aniway saw Jun khee that dae, when tension was having something in herrens haha... she sae i m much more than than before *grinz*

2003-08-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

another zooming weekend
when will i find time tt will not travel that fast?Somewhere in time ppl will stop in their tracks, movement as slow as ever, something u see in matrix, where time play a part ,the clocks and relem of the world clashes into a million pieces,where people will start talkin in monotone sound,barely audible, like a broken radio.Where the air is like a cusion of feathers, where ppl have time to dodge bullets zooming through the violent gray misty air, where blood splatters as blobs, where we "still" humans will rescue a kid or animal of the raging streets,where another life is save no matter how insignificant it could ever be.

This could be good, it could also be the worst nightmare ever planted in ani human mind, time... as it slows the more danger will happen,people will find one dae and un cover the secrets of speeding through dimensions, it would no more be a meer fraction of ani ones' imagination, take for example, wad our past human brothers and sisters have said about men, yez flesh n blooded men reaching moon more over mars, it was know as someting histerical,outragous, more precise a suited asylum case.And when this time come, the earth be in great danger, human and animal alike, powers will want to rise, like the current world, fires will be aflamed in countries, green pastures no more will be replaced by black ashen ground, plain n dull work, walls become grey due to the remaints of the buildings surrounding it. Till than who will save us, machine who has no feel like take control, headed by a human, the most cruel of all beingz,our destiny will than be told once again.

A prophecy lives, and we shall live it, lets hope we will revieve our hiuman sense instead of being a raging beast in the wild..

2003-08-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

silver ice
B-R-A-I-N dead, cun think animore of now, at this time i m still around lingering and icqing Lionel, got home about 30 min ago, totally switched off in the brain,but soonx as i got back woah brain auto work again, guess i m more alive at home, was trying to study psp but ain't makin ani progress tml definately need to wake up by 7 to do some revision and head dwn skool...*yawns*.

Ed din go skool todae claiming he wanna study, woah a typical " play in skool, study at home" guy haha not bad aye din noe my class got such ppl ard, tsktsk next week would be heading to skool everydae to do revision, got this terrible gut feeling that we all wun be able to finish revising by the time exam starts. Ms chin was saying my piano i should consider not takin this year coz exams all pile and clash,tmr so goin to call Abrsm and ask if i can withdraw, 1st no confidence, 2nd no time to improve, haix wad more worst can it be, was telling Maurice that i prob goin to break dwn soonx.

Some how my life is now so packed wid studies and more studies, no time to spare to stare n watch ppl animore, no time to even cruise dwn town nor enjoy a breezer at the fountain, all i c now is syllabus to follow, datelines to meet, how come to me it seems onli the IT courses are dead bz... hmm ain't fair~!

at 4 am, bells are goin to ring soonx,yet i m here half eye shut the other wide open, expecting for something miraculous to happen, ain't know wad, but i m missing something, beyond words....

my fone n tenshi fone,too bored haha

2003-08-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

blinks
was suppose to do up reading on psp chap 1-6 but guess i m 3/4 through chap 3 and nearly slept on the table again like i hab been doing the past few daes,studying has never been so hectic in my life before, ppl tell me that poly is much relaxed than jc or wad-so-ever. but somehow i feel otherwise, maybe is my course i m in, maybe is juz too mani thingz cramp together,but wad eva it is, its somehow makin me go crazy , slow process though.Fs test tomorrow and i still haven hit the books, ain't know ani idea wad to study either, guess goin to catch a wink now fer abt 5 hrs, wake up and start studying fs and playing my piano, that is if i wanna pass n not get stupid looks from everyone again, when i tell em i dun think i can make it

Been definately having sorta "pissed off" mode these few days intoleratable noise, guess coz of lack of sleep and the fact that i have zillions thingz to do,shall stare at my notes before i go snoozing off into lala land.

2003-08-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

madness
Mad mad mad, the life in poly is driving me up the wall, test n more test in this next few days till fridae i m goin to sit for 5 test, be it class test or jap. Next week is so called "skool break" but oh yeah i m so goin back skool everydae to do wad, yes!~ to study wad the hell rite,mondae till saturdae to be precise, and i still got my hearty piano exam next week which i doubt i m able to pass it in ani sort of wae.

Mom, pressuring me wid all kinda thingz, she told me a few daes ago tt aussie is nt reali gd animore, so we might nt be heading there, i was like "ok~" than yesterdae in the middle of class she rang me up asked me to find some info on foundation studies in aussie and apply fer it if i could get stay permit, i was like "huh?" wad izit does she wants, haix.....and now she is telling me that is partially or rather fully my fault tt i duno where to go, tell me something how would u decide where to go when u noe money is sarce and world is nt stable, esp when ur highly respected parents duno wad to choose either, and keep draggin u from the idea of one country to another *shake head* haix.... i duno wad n where n who i should turn n listen to..getting all blur n mezzy everywhere,piling un necess. stuff in my puney brain.

Yesterdae was studying fer jap after my S&W and Feng nan n Jean thought i was literary mad, even suggested sending me to mental hospital (tsktsk how mean can they get), it was all because of a simple reason... i was playing wid straws, yeah those extendable neck straws, i was reali toturing the poor POOR poor straw hmmm.... they thought i was deprived of childhood,tkstsk FN ah how mean can u be. haha... wellz saw someone in skool todae, had the urge to hug him but i din, juz looked at him, and literary walk awae,haha i think he feels i m avoiding him. Saw shi xiong yezterdae wid mag, cute couple, they are so in love *singz* hehe...I was suppose to be studying now, todae is reali a mess, first came to skool late, missed lecture, than i came home check mail to realise i go warning letter , i was like huh? i submitted the Mc mah, juz dwnloaded netscape and now am able to use npnet email. AT LAST!! juz mailed mR. pham abt it... hope they get to the bottom of it *mumblez*.Jap test was farni, but was reali nervous my partner cun speak it up and i was too scared coz i mean is like, if ur partner duno u of course feel kinda "stuck" too aye.

Tmr got Fs test hIakx i still haben touch anithing on it, was doing psp( most weekest sub , i gather) haix... wellz beta head back buried in bookx.

2003-08-18T10:36:00.000-07:00

shaken
ain't know wads wrong wid my lan card, it refuse to work fer me, until i started sayangin it, scary aye even ray found it weird haha, todae psp i was so pissed think the first tym fengnan they all see me so furious wid my lappy, *stabs lappy*, mrt system cock up, toilet in lecture level are nt fit to be used, y... simple reason, NO WATER.*mumblez* duno wads wid np these few weeks, last week exact date was no Lights,or rather electricity, yesterdae no water... they either had a tiff wid the electricity and water companies or something..

tragic np stories...haha wellz gtg hit the gates tomarrow a long day again

2003-08-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

Saturday...
Ain't know to gib it up or nt...been stinging me inside out, first surprise i got todae when i open my blog was Shi xiong saw me *looks left n right* y din i see him at all *mumblez* maybe coz ever since i hang ard wid gen, attention been reali great pressure on us all, haha nt because we are attention seakers but more of because she is umm chio as they sae hehe, maybe coz i din realise she is tt pretty but hmmm nice gurl though( of course or nt i wun hang out wid her rite *duh*), because of this i dun tend to notice ppl animore haha... wellz gd in a way. Today was suppose to be in skool, right this minute was suppose to be at 27-07-26 ahuh... if u r wondering wad the hell that is, wellz its, mR chou's table haha.Yesterdae in class he was muttering and complaining abt how he sits there all day waiting fer us to come to him if we have ani prob, sitting till he falls asleep and his collegues have to poke him to see if he is still alive.And boy he is enjoying more than we do *mutters*, during term break he is goin dwn thailand *dreams*, i miss the food there, and the shopping haha... wellz, he is goin dwn to find his best friend. ummm y dun i have such sweet best frewn *jokkin*

Class the past two daes, havoc, managed to do Fs properly now lagging in PSP goin nuts over it, stress from everywhere, pressure *ARGH* , tsktsk and someone in my class is reali getting to my nerves.*stabs* now talkin to shi xiong abt him... haha tsktsk, tml goin back skool finish up project, goin nuts every second as it passes, later still meeting ken =.=" haben told him that i m wide awake hehe... feel so mean, suppose to enjoy to dae.~hope i do k bah gtg *ciaos*

2003-08-13T08:58:00.000-07:00

dae
umm din think of ani title so i gather the first thing in my mind and typed it out, shagged dae, had a fuzzy feeling that i din feel fer so long, the fuzziness after swiming *grinz* yeah went to use Np's swimming pool hmmm it was cool, reminds me of water babies, wellz i need to definately swim more laps the next tym i do, maybe i will go dwn serangoon pool to swim too~*ponders*

piano exam ard the corner onli hmmm 12 daes more, tml goin to start a conquest of dae n night if i can! i better able to do it! i noe i can, i muz....was on the fone wid ken again, been a daily routine haha, he is as cute as eva, wellz he said thingz abt me how mel told me... wellz maybe is them, maybe is me. Shannen, thought i was goin wid ben, no thankew siah, my shi xiong will always be my shi xiong nothing more hahah...He is like so pretty sweet hehe, honey bunny~ *diabetis* soonx ,nothing much onli towards the end of the dae i had abit of mood change, guess its because some ppl in my class juz spoiled the dae, instant reaction haha...hmmm one thing is i gotta thank ken fer bringing up my spirits, cheering me upx.

woooo did u hear chaos reign over sg these few daes or rather reign revolving my life, mondae's lecture, short circuit first at ICT block than at ATRIUM, god wad more.... internet died, lifts stop, lessons postponed... terrible expierence, i cun catch up wid fs, tonite gotta slog, my jap, FS and mani more.Tuesdae, virus started attacking pc/ lappy ard sg, thats wad i hear so far bah... my lappy now has its patches i hope nothing happen bah*eyes twinkle at laptop*.Its been a great hit in class todae i guess ppl are worried. hmmm....todae, stressed up.haix.... my eyes dropping low already, maybe i should call it a dae n revise tml now i shall memorise somethingz n land in lala land *wanders*....

2003-08-12T11:42:00.000-07:00

What a girl wants...
Went dwn to town wid Gen after skool, and i ended up buying the "Arse skirt" owner was mentioning,hmmm it looks gd worz, hehe,Gen got her cute quicksilver bag, *jeles* i saw this other nice bag, its a waterproof pcv kinda thingy price was reasonable but guess i m scared it will burst haha...wellz after tt we ended up walkin ard and takin neo print haha,was smsing ken all the wae, guess he was after outfeild, poor guy so tired and worn out and still he talk to me on the fone...

Juz ended the conversation and now i m watching parts of "what a girl wants" though the show is old but yeah its nice... reminds me so much of myself, i see the world through her eyes...Haix, i was telling ken abt thingz he never knew, could hear my voice was choked, i was at the brink haix... y isit everytime i decide to be open abt it, i tend to end up wid dozen tears... wellz ken is pretty nice, maybe to me onli, that i ain't know, heard some thingz abt him quiet upsetting,wellz i guess wad ppl are, is pretty nt the same as wad ppl think the person is...

Rain is pouring at my area, the sky purplish blue, and somehow i feel so empty,like wad ken sae the feeling of emptiness sometymz fill us in, suddenly i miss the warmth i feel... and i feel all dwn inside out... listening to the sounds of "greatest story ever told".i reali wish one dae i find the star that is there to stay, the insecureness in me cause me to loose hope inside out, i wish so much one dae i can hold a hand i wun let go....

broken into pieces, as before , the real me emerge, i wish i could be more strong...

2003-08-11T20:42:00.000-07:00

New Skin
a new skin for my blog, got it from umm ember's frew moleh's old skin looks great, guess wun be changing anithing new soonx haha its juz so vibely me... ummm, sheese i m still here at this hour when my class start at 1 i gather is mr cabby again *looks into wallet*goin broke soonx, later still planning to go wid gen to shop abit after my s&w hiakx,running and tennis tt reminds me,and coz last week my lack of guards in my body has causes me to fall utterly butterly ill, tsktsk it juz goes to mean poor me is goin go have to go through 2 oral communications todae *faints* i noe i talk alot tts one thing, but askin me to talk to a crowd is juz out to kill me, more over they keep quiet n i talk *sheeze*~

Went to Lg yesterdae, gen's frewn Tiong( if i m nt wrong) is so cute , i mean butters cute tt kinda cute, too adorable and he reminds me of a ball... He promised to teach me n gen basics on wed- tomarrow *panics* lets hope i m still in touch wid my almightly swimming skillx.. yadayada... waiting fer mama to come back before i can head to skool, hmmmm wad else do i need, oh yeah~! sport shoe =.=",*fumbles*...

i m peeling oh yeah i m, din go to play volley on sundae, wellz din do anithing much , guess this comin week beta start goin again or nt i would be ohHH~ white *stare blankly* hmmmm.... tt reminds me on sat i m heading out to the movies wid frewns or would tt be frewn. hiakx.... guess end it now, shall add on wad eva i have to sae tonite *twinkles* its onli the start of the dae!

Aniway before i leave juz wanna sae someting to someone though he wun see it, guess week end he will

to KA: last nite so sorry fell asleep worz... ummm talk to u tonite kaez, dun think so much, enjoy ur ummm outfield...

2003-08-06T07:14:00.000-07:00

blank
Listening to:Long time coming by James Oliver

The lyrics flow so smoothly, when i watch this show wad caught my attention was the words of the song and the theme that mesmerise me wid the core of all being..."Everybody wants to be love,every once in a while, we all need someone to hold on to, juz like a helpless child, can't u whisper in my ear, let me know its all right... ITs been a long time coming dwn this road, and now i know what i have been waiting fer. And like a long highway i m trying to get home, and its been a long time coming... u can look fer a lifetime, u can love fer a dae, u can think u got everything...... " the soulful voice of james Oliver filled my room to even the creeks between the old unpainted walls, music filled the skies~....

As i lay back and reflect on the daes that has gone by, its been a mth since skool reali started, i have gotten to know a whole load of new faces.As i watch the ppl ard me, the old n new, all goin on wid their own stuff, sometymz i wonder if the world would stop and look through each other's eyez, i shrugged off those thoughts and continued doing what i m here to do -=reflect=-, my eyes wandered ard the atrium, ppl gossiping, playing warcraft and counter-strike, smiles on their faces appear, a smile of satisfactory. As i scan the place, time ticked away, before i knew its tym fer me to leave,took up my bag fumble through wad i need and without lookin back, i walk out of the place, walkin into another pile of new info i need to churn in my mind....

Found this, somewhere in my room, a collectable pooh can drink from jap..

2003-08-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

-=sneeze=-
my body system decided to disband after a mth of skool, or rather close to a month,fever, flu and sore throat, wad more can i ask for... work piling up, mc fer 2 daes, wanted to attend todae's o com assement but doubt i can make it, head throbing like mad, doubt i can brain storm or anithing, goin to meet owner to study abit till abt 6 than go back home.... webpage to create, psp to finish and csa to die fer... FS is wad i m goin through now. beta finish alot by tonite *shake head*

2003-07-30T21:41:00.000-07:00

^~*website*~^
Listening to : since you've gone (by H.O.T) disband but always been a great music group...

gosh i din realise last entry yesterdae or rather juz now in the morning was so long *shake head* guess too much thingz revolving ard my life and need to get it off my chest. I m probably been facing the worst week of my daes in poly since i start in it like abt a mth ago. Mondae something happened i duno wad,tuesdae was dragon boat training though pretty tiring but fun, first tym i actually bother to go and row hehe its graceful worz, yesterdae i skipped jap was too tired but went to meet owner and dragged ourselves home, yesterdae was rather farni hahah long tym since i started interacting wid ppl and guess wadhahah too long never meet ppl as farniT as em lame but farni wellz i think time passes fast aye,n in a few daes tym i beta start on my project fer webpaging, reali wanna do not something simple but something tt is complex, something tt entice to many ppl, i saw ember's frewn blog i wanna do something like tt maybe i will ask ember fer help, wellz hope to score well in this module =p wellz gotta go and start on my webpage *grinz*

2003-07-30T11:16:00.000-07:00

^*~sleepless*~^
As eva was suppose to hit the bed at 12 and now is like 1.49 am, always draggin wad seems to be my proper bed time, when will i ever be discipline enuff .These couple of daes was rather surprised that benny started pming me again, after so long of nt talkin, occasionally meeting up and stuff, he even mentioned of wanting to find me todae after skool but unfortunately he was bz,well part of me wants to see him yet the other part of me wish otherwise, maybe coz deep inside i wish i din run awae the other time, din run awae from what was reality, i did told mel. the reason fer my disappearance from his life at a pt of tym, din wan to repeat it to anione...all he noes is tt i left him stranded and i disappeared, when i appear again, the world has turn cold ice ard me... and piercing in towards him, guess tts y he decided to retreat *sigh*. Guess i was naive and thingz, but its the bezt fer both of us, coz the story wun ever happen.

Sheese guess enuff of tt, went dwn town n skipped jap lessons,its been long, the surrounding all foreign n cold, the sights and scenes are no more near normal, its juz an rear illusions, i dragged myself wid owner to fareast where it was once a place we hang ard wid erin and junkhee often, now each of us lead a diff life. Went to the chicken rice stall rite on top and *poofies* i saw angeline or rather she saw me first, i was pretty shock seeing her in home clothes, thinkin tt she was in jc, wellz she is now in rp studying biomedical science, smart ass as usual hehe... well wish her luck.

Life in IT05 was rather kwel todae, at least we all started interacting more wid each other, with the most comic guy in our class Weiliang tsktsk, most dirty minded n farni guy, join band sumore *giggles*, aik tat also another farni one haha wellz guess their group is reali hillarious, the clownies =p,talkin to him online now, din noe he live hougang... sheese to think i live here fer nearly 6 mths yet i duno my wae ard *mumblez* and the other dae bruce told me that, 111,85 and 97 have shorten their route coz of mrt *glare*, exsistance of mrt tsktsk.... but it does some gd esp to me haha to reach skool in tym.

Wonder how Raymond is getting along, din see him fer a few daes ard, guess he gotta be reali been bz wid his army thingy again... Hopes Maurice gets much beta each dae =p,wellz guess i gtg n rest soonx, tml gotta be in skool by 10 *shake head* goin crazy, late nites, earli class.... Benny was like "12 le still dun wan sleep ah" haha wellz i m goin to hit the sack soonx!~ gd nite ppl, may in the dreams we have tonite, we find wad we truely want within...

2003-07-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

^*~endless times~*^
*munching* hmmm nice breakfast, a proper one since a very long time, bacon n eggs *grins*.These few daes been flooding wid alot of farni emotions, waikit n maurice probably be the worst ones haha they are like so tired out coz of the preview thingy, din knew maurice was under the fireworks area, *giggles* amusing, that nite we were talkin abt his red and white bike *psst* wid ultraman stickers, haha he reminds me so much of daniel *shake head*, i was laughing when he told me his bike is red n white,the thought of him being ultimately patrionic came into my mind, but wellz i doubt he is anywhere near there,one dae muz reali go see his bike haha.RaymOnd wAs deFinate a sweEtie pIe hehe, i was suppose to do my psp stuff and i din noe how to do,so i approched him, since he is the onli person i knew who is great wid graphics, and "tada" haha a file full of reference came my wae, and did that help alot*grins* thanks aye raymoNd~ sweet guy beri cute too*giggles*

Yesterdae things did screw up, but we did have fun, the timing went hay wired and stuff charles was in a pretty foul mood, wellz but we did end up there and ivan ge look as cute n blur as eva haha, the game was fun though i din dare to move much in the begining coz i happen to be the one n onli gurl playing there, phoebe is cute, she is reali nice too, so is troy haha bread n terrance as eva like blured awae, this cute guy name patrick haha i ain't noe his age but i noe he is damn bubbly~ hehe we did have a great tym other than them, there was this couple ummm but i duno their names hehe the gurl is adorable,sweet lookin-big eyed.. wellz enough fer the vague info gotta ciaox off

2003-07-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

^*~NdPx prEvIew~*^
ndp preview was great, din even think would have the chance, till our miss birdy pui ching hehe asked me if i wanna tix fer ndp preview,first reaction *dials nos of owner* -ringring- "harlow"(owner) "owner tml go ndp preview ok"(me)...
Thats how it began haha wellz, we din intend to stay long coz of the thought of long queues *blinks* but we still ended up sitting there the whole dae hehe, the fireworks was fabulous beyond the english vocab., though the endless minutes of sitting have some how numbed our butts,but glad we din enjoy ourselves reali well,this year's parade was great, maybe cos part of the theme is more of street culture, that is maybe y it appeals to us.Fiona xie sang a song in english on stage, cun remember the title, but gosh did owner n my jaw juz drop wid shock, her voice is gd~! wellz tt is if it wasn't lip singing,haha wellz gib her some credit aye,the formations and events was gd, one thing was tt i din noe that murmur was inside hehehe coz from where i was sitting (on the top) everything look dang small.*squints*
The breakdancing and the tribute to the nurses of the tribulant SARS incident and of course the drummers are reali kwel,it shows to us tt street culture is definately part of singapore and its here to stay *grooves~*

biscuits while watching ndp =p more pics under the pics section there up above in hidden(update).

Enuff abt ndp preview, the past few daes other than meeting new ppl in dragon boat, things hab been abit crazy, ppl talkin abt me which is utterly nt true, and another who dun believe me, i duno wad i should sae or nt to make em believe me, maybe its better this wae that i retire to a cave n juz keep quiet let em do wad they wan aniway i got nothing much to lose either,haha wellz,me n raymond been talkin and somehow he is reali cute ,blur cute, waikit has been reali supportive to me and so is clement and his stupid joke of his name haha.... wellz... when one door decides to shoot arrows at u, another opens to gib u warmth and safety *bleah~* wellz getting abit sleepy*fumblez*~ test ard the corner gotta go than *poof*

2003-07-25T00:11:00.000-07:00

::~*in practical*~::
"sorry din mean to call u...but i cun't fight."- melodies from sonsby4 (purest pain) juz starts flooding into the ears through the ear phones... sitting in class rite at the front, trying to not remember the pain that is shooting through my muscles, yesterdae's dragon boat training was hell esp when i din exercise fer like 7 mths or more *screams* than it was like 3.2 km of run up n dwn hill than gym i think die, no strength think i need to go and work out myself first before i do anithing haha~ tts y finding training kakhi wid me.. though its tiring and tired but its great, new frewns and new ppl its simply fab. and they are farni though the gurls are abit fierce =p

got to noe a few other np ppl here, and it seems here is reali gd to study, it makes travelling worth and makes me look forward to come to skool everydae,volley ball and dragon boat and including i go into fencing is juz great hehe, hope i can be all rounder and get myself in reali a gd shape, wellz gotta do my stuff now i shall detail it tonite heheh *poofs*
-=missing the one that has always been there through the windows....=-

2003-07-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

-=tsktsk=-
okok hmmm let me gib a full account on sat's thingy to hinder wad i din sae earlier=.=" in details... *nods*

*ahem* wellz~ on sat, hmmmm woke up, asked mama if i can go out tt dae *ummm i recieved a usual "skool time wanna go out wad hell" thingy so hmmmm actually cun go out, had to gib mama excuse need to go some skool thingy till late,she din reali buy it till i told her onli from evening onwards so okiez bah, charles onli came out of camp at 3 so meet him ard 4++ by the time we reach bkools was like hmmm close to evening, after like an hour + i think an hour 15 min, we had to leave, coz wanted to go yf chalet, and of course we left in a cab heading there wid sam paying the fare =.=" umm reached there, miggled alot hehe meet certain new ppl, and mama called..... =.=" so did sam's parents, go as much as actually wanted to stay over, i cun, even was thinking to ask boy toy to drop by my place n pick me up together wid sam, unfortunately i cun coz firstly dog will confirm bark like mad, n mama will wake up =.=" so i cun,actually fridae wanted to come dwn, but by the time i finish i cun come dwn i went back ard....9 reached home ard 10 ,tired like mad,goin to yf chalet is like meeting and catching up old times,din wanna leave too, but we dragged sam's timing and her papa told him, something like u dun get back by ten no nid come home or something so had to leave by 9.40 was thinkin of leaving at 10+ but hmmm sam cun, and we onli had one ride back, travis too had to leave... wellz nt saying tt we wanted to leave earli, but guess those who noe me well enuff noes tt my mom ain't nice as faz's she can go abit gaga at times, n i definately dun wanna be locked out, totally not gd. wellz.... might be i ain't gd in expressing myself but todae morning was a definate rush had to leave by 8.30 to skool or nt late=.=" so here it is a detailed version, nownow hope u ppl understand.

2003-07-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

*rubs eyes* morning~ *yawns* sheese got woken up by mom, only to realise that i was smsing waikai half wae n i zzz , guess i muz be reali tired,this week end was totally drained out, and to think i m goin out when i have test this week *panicks*,fridae did abit overtime wid studies and we had some kamis or isit kami some indo thingy by the time i reach home i m half awake half dead, abt to reach the arms of dream land tsktsk,saturdae had to meet,charles,sam and faz to go to richel's pot luck, it was wae fun *nodsnods* reali fun~ great ppl, great laughter,din reali wanna leave tt place esp when we all were having so much fun, but coz me , sam n faz wanted to dash home asap so that we could continue studying(in faz n my case) and in sam (curfew) so we went dwn to yf's chalet, where i saw my darling geges

Ivan ge was so cute *giggles* cut hair now look so so SO~ much beta hmmm look more yan hehe even sam agree,and gut. was as cute and a clown as eva,hehe i miss em both so So much,wellz other than that hmmmm there was travis hehe, he is so adorable, baby face tsktsk thought that he was like younger than wad he reali is, maybe like they sae, pure in heart hehe.Ivan ge sent us back and went back to the chalet *thanks gege*~ i was intending to study till very late but at abt 3 plus i juz hit the sack coz i could barely pay attention to anithing goin ard*blanks*

sundae was damn fab!~ haha though we meet up reali earli, and i woke up at 6 to go church by 7, it baboomed nicely in the morning but when we arrived there it wasn't raining, took some pics and started playing vball hehe to realise our ball was hard o.O and poor charles gotta travel up n dwn before comin back wid the "soften" ball,some how we cun play well haha so we gave the court to another group,we had a splash of the time in the water and after tt amazingly we could play volley beta *blinks* haha, i turned awfully pink n started peeling but its great, never had so much fun and been so tired fer so so long tsktsk... wellz gtg end here skool now *poof*

2003-07-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

sniPfz

ownEr and me at the Loo?(so paiseh, was adjusting hair than a bung came in =.="

"i want to redye my hair" those were the few sentences i said to the guy -angus- found a totally great guy to do my hair from now on! hehe... he recomanded a few colours to me and i went fer a hair cut also hehe which turn out fab! oh yeah *groves~* owner's hair too is damn nice hehe *giggles~* wellz... Angus definately knew how my head looks beta wid wad hair, and his assitant is cute hehe... his hair is so adorable.One faithful thing i have learnt abt Jean Yip is that the hairstylist are GD hehe... go to the PS one if u wanna go, great place a stop fer everything,from hair to even foot massages *blinks* ok i definately dun go fer that... tennis todae is quite kwel, dispite the sky baboomed, made a couple of new frewns etc. hehe wellz talkin online wid some ppl again and waikit is so adorable he said he dun mind being my model fer hairstyling if i do it on him=X hehe *giggles* dun worry u will sure like it de =p...

the new me

wellz todae quite qing song coz start at abt one.. other than tt nothing too sure... now so floatish and i still have yet to finish my lecture slides think i goin to zzzzz first tml than do.... todae already lac of sleep tsktsk *yawNx* gd nite!

2003-07-14T18:14:00.000-07:00

bright morning!!!
*yawns* stupid steve had to wake me up by calling my house n hp and knockin on my door,juz because yesterdae nite i told him i hadn't had a proper breakfast fer the past week,long tym din see him ard and finally yesterdae he some how got my nos maybe from kerene they all,wellz he stay dwn the road i think coz when i told him i m at lew lian he went "oh i live near there" so ok lorz hehe... stupid steve fiddle in my room and found my digi n *click* smart guy *clobber* ,steve u juz WATCH out =x okiez bah..he requested me to put the pic up so here it is...

how stupid can i look...ew

okie bah i shall go off nw n enjoy tt prata *droolx* and gotta prepare fer skool, meeting owner fer haircut/redye hehee.....!*cherios*

2003-07-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

OwL
three a.m, the lock is ticking...eye lids gettin heavier each min...been reali such a crazy dae, din expect to sleep this late...3 am,the last i could remember was sleeping this tym nearly a mth ago...*rubs eyez* skool was fun todae, psp1 was damn interesting, drawing the hse n the star of david haha and mine turn out to be pretty ridiculous, due to poor ploting *giggles*ruoling( my class mate) was so stressed up wid her laptop, her expression juz reminds me of the first few daes of skool haha... wellz at least she got it rite by 7+ sheese.... cun pei her bah coz i had to meet yf and faz(who apprently was damn late) tsktsk french aye fazzy =p,wanted to buy volleyball in town but din manage to do so, actually we onli went to cine so i think hmmm hahaha... went dwn to heartland mall fer my first time tsktsk- sound so suaku rite =p wellz aniway its great now i noe where to do my shopping other than town... we went to sportslink to realise they have this neon green, pink n purple ball -.-" disgusting =p so went dwn to hougang, felt kinda stupid hehe got a nice ball and went off back to kovan n waited fer faz, ate abit n went off... thats when thingz are stupid =p i went home bathe, settle dwn.. hang laundry( god i feel like i m staying alone ferever blah~~!) blahblahblah and decided its tym fer me to do some catching up.

very smart of me indeed *mumblez* wellz ain't tt bad i printed out pretty much most of the module schedules at least i noe where to go ahead of lesson and i started on csa while takin to michael abt some internet thingy...tsktsk i duno how long i studied but i juz ended *blinks* nt exactly ended more of cannot take it hehe.... still got a few more slides to refer too, and the book already look like as if i did some art work on it, so mani writingz and highlighting, i guess if benny sees this book hahaha either

1.he is goin to scream and scold
2. he is goin to be calm n curse inside
3.he would be perfectly ok =X

haha obviously i hope is no.3 =p wellz saw him in class opp mine todae,bleah and saw this gurl wid a very nice short hair, cun remmeber her name but yeah she is cool hehe*go gurl* heard tt she is like a peacock wonder y *ponders* neway i m goin wid owner tml to cut hair or something, or maybe juz pei her! wellz.... gtg n zzzzz or nt tml sure die~ nitenite ppl~ sweet dreams!

2003-07-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

SeNtosa!~~
wooOO hooO at last after so mani mths on nt touching sentosa's sand n water n the bright sun, oh well there wasn't exactly ani sun =.="...but we still enjoyed ourselves, dispite the out turn of events- kayaks no more, but we managed to buy this small beach ball and have a pretty roaring tym of ourselves!!! been missing them all pretty much, haben seen em in ages~ its so gd to be once again free hehe and enjoying myself w/o caring abt how thingz goes hehe... we saw a few tyms n tan at the nearby island( ok nt reali an island but looks like one though) and we went to play volleyball wid a beach ball, hehe though abit farni (coz the ball is light) but we had a roaring gd tym! hehe at least we got the ball in the air, and need i remind haha *giggles* charles is a pretty hillarious sight when he sit in the water and start playing wid the beach ball hahaha reminds me of pre skool *cutie~* anson is quiet though tsktsk ANAN talk more leh *kok* =X (so uncivilised todae)...wellz got a nice pinky nose now and am becomin more n more pinky by the min *blushes the natural heaty wae*, a funfilled dae we had though~ great we should do this some tym soonx again~ neways gotta sign off earli todae~ damn tired *rubs eyes*~ tym to zzzz so tml i can wake up n meet faz fer skooL! cherios~

anson,ben,boytoy,sam, yf, faz,kinachi, youya,charles,weijie thanks so much u ppl fer this dae its been reali reali great! hehe haben enjoyed so much in weeks!!!*huggies*~

sentosa at dusk

2003-07-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

the uncaged bird
feeling so relaxed and sleepy now,so mani thingz have happen in these few daes... the past week was such a hectic week, its like puting me into cold water in winter *brrr~* everything was new, ppl came rushing into my life, ppl i have never seen before or known in ani way or another... school drained me pretty much,the journey, the weight(oh yeah even huihuang-think its his name, told me tt my laptop is like gold =X),and activities..lessons swoon over me, and yesh being a normal human wid prob the capacity of barely a quarter of my brain used... i dun understand my lessons,and yeah i reali dun... guess gotta start studying at home tsktsk, yesterdae wanted to study but in the end curl up on the bed n zzzzzz,stupid owner still even take my bear!*mumblez*

other than skool, another stressed up situation was.... my life, it juz wasn't too gd and thingz are definately stressing me up to the max...decided to let go thingz... maybe its much beta this wae for some reason or another... back to my old self and muah freedom is unlimited, though i have sullen dwn abit... went to watch movie( too fast Too furious) wid "marmi" and owner woah the cars are so beautiful esp tt spyder sumore in purple *droolx* the skyline is so chio too! i m so goin to get the vcd hehe... watched twins effect the show is o....k... but edison's hair is nice, its so cool!!! hahah think owner looks gd in it *blinks~* charlene is so pretty!!umm..kinda ferget her on screen name but she is the one tt fell fer the vampy, god she is so cute

wellz yeah these are the thingz happening to me these daes.... nothing much nothing less to sae abt~ wellz... been long tym since i was so stressed up~ guess gotta end here TBC ppL~

mitsubishi.evo

mitsubishi spyder

honda s2000

2003-07-10T23:03:00.000-07:00

a nother dae
in skool oh yeah idle-ing but nt exactly idle-ing lah i m trying to connect to icq but i can't be it at home or in skool this is so irritating its getting on my bloody nerves *snarls* grr todae come skool fer an hour of skool its so irritating, and no practical *blinks* so i meeting owner after goin home to put dwn laptop and bookx than goin off to meet owner fer a movie and tonite another movie i think hhe okiez bah gtg le before she kills me and i suppose to meet fazel to go home hehe

i go see if got practical or nt hehe if dun have better kin to class tata cya

2003-07-07T09:45:00.000-07:00

deedummm, first day
jeT lAg is wad i m feeling...*ticktock* time is ticking,tsktsk its like 12:31am fer once, i feel like i m dead, yesterdae was orientation,it was hmmm fairly ok, made new frewns but the bad thing was tt it dragged on and i was damn tired, wid the airplane exhaustion and the lack of mama ard(been long since she went awae leaving me alone to fend fer myself) with the tons of laundry i have to manage and stuff hehe its a near to faint situation.

wellz i got into class 0305 its fun, the class is fairly nice and maybe juz maybe i wanna try out fer the ict society (blinks) i wanna join cca also, but tt would onli means lesser tym fer frewns, and love ones...it shucks but, i guess my life comes once, gotta do wad i wanna do so i wun go ard regretting i din do it *woOo*(so kwel i m so confident=.=")

enuff of nonsense =X too tired to crap animore aniway,wellz i got my Chanel Dpc, i got the M-U base and also the pro concelor *giggles* wellz yeah~ oh yeah... i got it at last... i m on embark to losen those extra lard i pick up on hols! lets hope thingz goes the rite wae aye! okie bah i gtg now....nitenitey~ sweet doodles dreams~ *waves*

2003-07-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

freedom~
woah juz back two daes ago and now i m leaving this land again...*Rubs eyes*~ goin on a 1610 flight back to jkt, these few weeks thingz been rollercoastery fer me... missed out so much on life wid my frewns.. too bz to even do anithing, and monday oh yeah skool starts(anit-enthu).
adrenaline rush to the head *sizzlez* my brain is over worked sad to sae, ain't makin sense animore *bangbang*,skool,schedule to meet,books to hit, shops to go(oh yeah my half a year shopping spree!!!),lessons to learn,ppl to meet.Gosh how am i goin to fit all those into my schedule *shakes head*,lose tons of weight nt to mention, those extra flubber dubber i got from da trip.

Guess this is my last post till i come back *evil laughter* so i decide to complie a tinny winny wish list *giggles*...(on the top)

2003-07-03T09:47:00.000-07:00

found it!
charm bracelet, is believed nt onli to accessories but to also bring luck and peace... wellz i have a few bracelets, but onli one charm bracelets, unfortuately its broken... been finding fer one i truely set my eyes on, and two years ago at airport i saw this lady having this charm bracelet on, god it was yes luv at first sight, it looks so elegant on her *blinks*,wellz the nice thing was tt it is a locket and the one i found is a replica of its orignial...pretty and simple, hehe~ nicenice aniway while lookin ard the web juz now i spotted this cute waltz disney charm bracelets hehe got winnie the pooh! i definately goin to find the retail price of tt too n save up tsktsk....

Sterling Silver Heart Locket Toggle Rolo Link Bracelet - 7.5"

You must have one of these bracelets! This is a designer inspired piece which is absolutely breathtaking, comfortable to wear and pleasing to see on your wrist. This stylish bracelet has a heart locket charm connected to a rolo-link bracelet measuring 7.5 inches and weighing 21.33 grams. It features a toggle enclosure for that special look!
us $149

2003-07-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

argh~
hehe got a new pic fer my site *bounces* but i duno how to upload...*blinks* *starts clicking on everything* hmmm... i m goin to add midi i guess and... brush up my whole thing... loads of pic to add, aniway *wheeEEeeeeE* i decided to put the estee lauder's pleasant awae.... fer at least a mth, and try cool water again, was using the sample at last open the bottle now... so chio *blinks*

chio rite...so elegant,so blue *blinks* k lah mad le goin to zzzzz le *poof*

2003-07-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

i am back oh yeah *groove*
hehe yez i m back! at last aye... hehe *grinz widely* but i might have to go back indo tml fer two daes *blinks*hikX... bzbzbz i juz checked out poly stuff and seems that i lost a paper n still finding fer it...sheese nvm maybe tml than go find in the morning...! ok now i so need to lose all those extra flubber i gained during winter season so if i can i m goin to go out fer a run!yeah oh yeah run... hearing from a bear, i think bears dun run unless their snout or tail (yes they do have tails, those stump of small fur) on fire, so see a miracle a bear running *imagines head lines*

think i reali am gaga... hmmm skool is like goin to be so hectic, i got jap classes every wednesdae from 5.30 till 7.30pm,gosh mondae time table till 5pm *blinks* i muz find tt paper.... hikx tsktsk aniway okiez bah i shall log off to lala land, tml bz dae again! cya ppl

*smooches*~

2003-07-01T07:05:00.000-07:00

last day
guess its the last dae or rather nite before i head back to sg tml afternoon, thingz been reali hectic over here hope when i go back i will get some rest at least *yawns* today was utterly bz... morning was packed, afternoon certain thingz cun fit in, tml morning gotta do it in a rush before heading to the airport gawd.... this "holiday" has become no where near holidays, more of work n late nites till 4am even =.=" .

mom juz got back from some talk wid some ppl, tsktsk i rushed back at 10, hmmm 8 sg tym to check out if dar was online, was hoping to talk to him,but thingz unfortunately has changed... guess he is tired and pissed from those OT, but somethings he said juz....pierces through very much right through,till it bleeds, well nvm abt tt,everyone gets pissed n stressed out doesn't they,i hope when i come back i can juz spend some tym wid him..i definately hope its nt wateva i fear everytym i go overseas.

well its close to midnite here tym to snooze i guess... dang tired,haix... definately i wun be able to sleep much, alot of thinking i need to do,abt dar n studies.wellzz... snooze off *poof*

taken during a night when i was sitting at the balcony

2003-06-24T02:45:00.000-07:00

shivers
nah not some ghost stories but yeah i m frozen cold, the nights been getting colder n colder, wellz they sae its goin b warmer soonx, i totally hope so, i duno y but some ppl still play volley ball in the middle of the night(ain't they cold or something) i m like in a long sleave and sweater *brr*...dun dare to wear ani flats animore ,gotta be in jeans and shoes all the tym...wellz though it is cold but its gd change from asia, somehow i dun feel like goin back,thingz here seems to be much beta, and gosh i m gainning pounds and more over i guess kilos hahah...been so bz these few daes wid meetingz and stuff,conferences to attend wid mama...but tml yeah at last tml i would have the dae off or two daes off till fridae before ani of tt starts again *giggles*

gonna check out the surf shop ard the corner,suddenly i m so gian to learn surfing hahah dun ask y, juz the thrill i get to experience two daes ago hehehe... wellz everything here seems to go on sale, got myself a new bag and some ummm shades a few daes ago,or rather yesterdae nite and..juz shopped fer chicken fer supper haha...gonna check out some pet shops fer shaggy's food, shop fer some clothes i gather a few long sleaves and enjoy the view.guess a great tym to relax after a couple of hectic nites and daes,and awae from the scorching sun of singapore hahah.... its like woah~ been long since i felt so "cold" in sweaters hehe... kaez i think gotta go and hop off to enjoy the tv showz *waves*

dear...dun overwork urself kaez.. may my special angles bless u and owner and the so mani special ppl ard with their warmth and care,till than i miss u ppl*waves* to everyone i can remember, ling,damien,sam, perlin, rw, valence,faz,yf,gut....dv..and many more

2003-06-21T23:44:00.000-07:00

frozen
*waves* at last hahaha din write the few daes coz too bz, yesterdae was in some 'brisbane city backpackers' and todae in surfers... its getting colder by the very min... winter wad can u expect, the air is cold haha yet i see outside the window of the cafe that ppl are still surfing, as i warm my hands ard the coffee cup which is laying on the table i watch the ppl riding the cold crisp waves... dogs running ard pawing into the ground fer wad little they can find, ur face appear in my mind, missing u so much every moment,ppl ard me are bz typing , sounds of key board everywhere guess i ain't the only one so dead on computer *giggles* owner.... i mish u man~ where are u! wellz sam... and faz thanks fer getting my dear to his comp bleah,and dar, so sorry i gave ur nos to faz.i din mean too juz wanted u to noe i m safe n sound over here

lookin pass the roads juz now in the morning while i was on the train, i look ard me, couples, frewns,family on back packin trips... how i wish i could go too on a proper back packin trip, i turn to ask mama, and fer once she went "we see money how first"woah is tt a yes... i m so goin to skip the cafes, resturants n stick to kopitiam and school canteen when i come back sg.wad i need is to save up and fer someone to go wid me *giggles* i do have someone in mind, i hope we can make it than~bleah...

the place where i m staying is islander hotel resort, its pretty nice and cozy,there is tennis court, and cafe, game room etc. damn near the shopping place,mama was kinda furious tt we missed mass but wellz hahhaha... i will definately pray tonite...anyway i gotta go off le, its getting dark by the min...gtg le.... mom is screaming fer me to get ready haha dinner to attend *poof*

2003-06-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

flying without wingz

song tuned too: something i din sae [98 degrees]

Been so long since i went out wid owner, and at last yes at last i went out wid her after so long,she went shopping wid me n ak fer her clothes and we took neocard(god we both have grown fatter) hikx tym to lose weight! hehe and...than we headed home...talked in the cab~ gosh i mish talkin to her *hUgz owner* i SO mish u.... hehe,got home,got into a little misunderstanding again...hikx..dear we should reali start comprimising hahahah, and i should reali stop being stubborn and u stop being over worried!hehe anyway...when i was trying to hell get a clear reception on class 95,this song came on... wellz it juz describes so much of wad i feel now, at this pt of tym....and *psst* dear dun worry okiez...everything will be fine... sometymz parents too have pmses hahah or wad we call PCS (parent-child syndrome) bleah~ok i came up wid tt one but its true dun u agree *nodnodS*

Everybody's looking for that something
one thing that makes it all complete
you find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lovers eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you find that special thing
You're flying w/o wings.

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You find it in the works of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You find it in the deepest friendships
The kind you cherish all you life
And when you know how much
that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying w.o wings

So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Coz who's to know
Which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well fer me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that i can say i love you
At any given tym or place
It's little thingz that only i know
Those are the thingz that make you mine.

And it's like flying w/o wings
Coz you're my special thing
I'm flying w/o wingz

You're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying w/o wings..

today's topic on class 95 is reali true, u need nt need money to be wid someone u love and be romantic... eg.watching falling stars,walkin in the park hehe~*hinthint* jokkin niah bleah~ wellz.i m suddenly in such lovey dovey mood...there is so many chances yet i have to said this... out loud...i shall take this chance to shout out... I LOVE YOU to both fei mao n .... owner! *muacks*~,i would nt let tym or anithing tear ani of us apart...

2003-06-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

revamp
at last i had tym to do up my blog*blow dust off*, lorn n me was crackin brain and he did half the job trying to get it on...but guess it din reali work..*shake head* so obviously i use a template n changed it abit here n there...still a newbie at it though hehe...wellz thankew alot lorn u did a great help! hehee....*beams* i m so proud of the new look of the blog *blinks*

i sat infront of my laptop cruising pass a few other blogs linked to mine...while doin up my new blog outlook..and owner's one caught my eye(as usual) her 14th june entry was like woah... hiKx wellz come to think of it...its been a year plus since i've known owner..fast aye *sniffles* the tyms when we were like so naive n now... abit more mature but still as crazy...thinkin back we did change a whole load,din expect myself to turn out this wae...its been more than a year since i have known ppl like erin(mei) and jun khee (pet) though sometymz i do realise we are nt as close animore,but still we do make tym fer each other *smilez*...

Owner.... one thing i gotta sae to u which i have said before is tt, nothing will come between both of us..when the world ever shuts u out remmeber u got this bear bouncing somewhere thinkin of u...and always worrying abt u...though i realise ever since both of us are attached,we have much tym lesser fer each other,but tt doesn't mean pet loves u lesser abit... nothing is more impt than u,the thingz we went through,the tyms we are so scared and the tymz we are sad n crazy...is thingz tt are always there...no matter wad i will always be there fer u blah...*smilez*so likewise if u need anithing or juz plain bored do sms me or call me! seriously speakin i mish u like crazy *sleepish grinx*...wellz hehe though i have fei mao~u are on the same par as him so dun worry kaez! i will spend more tym wid u soonx hehee~... when i come back( if i go fer hols) u beta nt change n dun abandon me again! Lub ya as always my dear owner....*hugz*take care yeah? n say hi to Owner-sao fer me *waves*

2003-06-14T13:46:00.000-07:00

a slow snail
done is the word, at last i finish with the new yahoo photos i did..complied all the photos taken from last mth or rather from beginin of the year,all the neoprints and digi cam fotos of everyone.Been a really slow process of uploading,juz like how my day uploaded todae...slow n boring,i woke up when the sun was having its lunch...yeah it was reali late,haven been rubbing my eyes tt late fer a long time,and the dae rolled pretty slowly fer me.

two dae ago, or rather three to be exact, i was having camp at kc.. it was fun and as usual i felt something...that is y i jerked up n sat there lookin at everyone,scaned ard and after awhile i went back to sleep,the dae after wasn't so much beta,the hike was great n fun,we were all drained out by 3pm futher more i had to get my arse to piano lesson by 5 i was half dead n half alive,but i still meet dear,coz i so badly wanted to meet him...dispite me knowing i m abt to juz collapse ani moment,but it din reali go tt well,heard thingz tt i could juz pierce myself with...i juz died on the spot when he ask me something..i din wan to feel tt wae but i did.... i could feel the wound juz gash open wid a pair of blades and thorn open wid bare hands.. tts how hurting it was..we did sorted out in the end... n laid our probs out... i hope this would be the last of ani of these kinda things happen...i still could feel the pain in the wrist the shock i got..haix....wellz its over *erase the memories*,hikx no matter wad....i still lub him as eva.....=X

2003-06-10T07:28:00.000-07:00

skin on skin
thingz are so diff, we are the opp pole of the magnet but i still love u the same.. but sometymz it ain't fair the things u expect from me... u wan me to rest more when u dun even rest ani more than i do...even when i ask u too, u wun...seeing u tired also makes me upset..haix... maybe its tym fer me to go back to my cave...

i juz dun get it y ppl when are told tt i wan em to juz back awae, they dun get it and juz go n talk to my dar abt it, pls my dar got nothing to do wid anithing......as a GUY come n face me urself... its non of my dar's duty to hong wo juz because of someone.... pls i m onli a gurl lorz, wads so scary tt u hab to sae my dar din clear thingz up wid me,dun be a wussy okie! face ur mistakes dun u realise ur reasoning are juz pure lame,a cover up wid mani holes...... all i have to do is SHOOT through it n u r prob goin to be dead...... If u have stayed awae abit longer......trust me i would have prob started talkin to u le,but thanks to ur smart brains n yeah thanks to everything u juz dun get it tt sometymz its bezt to leave ppl alone......

sheese, aniway~ owner got me 3 roses todae, purple, orange n ummm wad was it abit pinkish white.~ awwww pet loves owner *blinkblink* hahaha and we went seoul garden.... and she did most of the cookin n me eating... all the chicken n everything juz seems to pile on my plate >.< hikx....wellz its a fun dae...... hehe ok lah except fer now....haix...... dar...... pls juz listen to me...... rest more... u always sae u will rest earli but u never did...

2003-06-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

dark sky
*waves* i m back ummm from hikx i also duno hahah wellz maybe these few daes so mani thingz been piling up behind n infront of me, i m so goin gaga soonx~ wellz one thing was tt fei decided to come back... and lied to me abt aug.... well done my dear, toOOooO beautifully done till i was so upset >.< wellz other than tt,saturdae was splendid,we went watch movie,walk ard and my dar juz took action, in the end we( the group) walk ard n enjoy,sam's frewn derek came n hahah it was farni how fei n him clicked and me n sam was talkin wellz its a nice n rare sight~ wellz when they left so did yF, gus and... fazel, me n dar was left alone to wander... we did n somehow after midnite hahha my dar became my dar officially *blushes~* i shall spare the details! blah....

wellz todae... or rather yesterdae... we meet up earli in the morning, gosh i pity my dar took bus haha from his place to mine, never am i goin to let him do so~ again!was out wid him fer more than 12 hrs hahah i think can see we both are tired, but somehow i juz wan to be wid him abit longer bleah~... we went to have bf than~ went dwn aussi embassy which was close >.< queen's bdae than went dwn tangling mall n head to orchard mrt... went to SIR which i nearly died while waiting... than we walked dwn to bugis, is like woah~ its been so long since i walked ard so lesiurely wid someone else tt i love so much *hugz*~ wellz... the rest was history watching movie, eating at some ummm chicken rice place hikx... and eating crepes hahaha~wellz... it was a reali great dae... more over having him beside me juz cheers and makez my dae even more beautiful, thankew DAR! blah *hugz* *muacks*

2003-06-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

missing you
hiKx... its been like 4 days plus since he went awae from here.. and everyday seems to be having some major hoohaa ard.. tsktsk... but the most impt thing is tt everynite before i sleep n everydae when i wake up, i juz look up to the sky and wish he would do juz fine...and may the angels juz protect him and hope my special guardian angel would do OT and look after him too...wish i could be there to juz give me a tight squeeze to tell him how much i miss him n how impt he is to me...=)... wellz he is goin to be gone fer close too two mths...i juz wish.... it wun be the case( juz got the news)..suddenly i feel so crushed inside,dun ask me y, is a feeling tt juz react.haix...

these few daes been bad enuff.... so mani horrible thingz juz keeps piling... the first dae he left, i was already faced wid a frewn who juz cun understand y i din choose him n i choose feimao... haix... and i was worried tt sam... would be angry wid me, but i m glad she isn't =)... it was pretty ok bah~ tues... had a major quarrel wid mama n practically cry myself to sleep... i noe fei mao was rather worried abt me, so was owner... haix,life sometymz is really sucky when u noe the horrible truth abt ur life....wed.... i realise my frewn, he was a close frewn rather... is some how more of a "scary person" to me..never would i thought he is such a person that i would fear, to think i was close to him in a wae... yesterdae was pretty much ok,we went out n stuff wellz the bad thing was onli... mom was having major pms again =.=" n thank god i din kana lock out or something close to tt hikx......

missing you with all my heart, wishing on a star tonite that you will always be ok, even if i have to be the one in shadow,the test of time is wad we are facing but i will widstand all till the dae we meet again... loving u every dae, watching the skies brighten up each dae, with a prayer in my heart hoping he would bring u back soonx enuff...

2003-06-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

to someone special
::~* into glistening sky i wander,
my minds set free over the two stars we saw in the sky tonight,
each representing me and you.
Though far apart are we,
the same sky we conqure.
counting dwn the daes till u come back,
wishing u were here to share the hours again.
in my heart i felt a tug of pain,
i m starting to miss u before its dae.
no matter how far,
i would like to sae...
nothing would ever change
the wae it is...
all i wan u to reali noe is...
the love i feel fer u is true =)*~::
the stars we see, izit a sign or juz pure luck haha... wellz tts the inspiration fer it all! i miss u so much~

2003-05-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

-=argh~=-
*rubs eyes* gd morning O.O ok second thoughts gd noon *waves* wellz,was awaken at 8 plus by mom fer breakfast when i was abt to bathe n go find owner to play bball,guess wad.... mom went "woah new chess pieces ah" i was like "huh" n there goes the rest of the earli morning, playing chess wid her,wid a cup of mocha in both our hands.tsktsk wellz ever since i saw the no.3 adidas jersey on the window display of adidas shop i was so mesmerise it,somehow it revive me the passion to bounce tt deflated bball i have stored near my shoe rack.. more over hehe i look so gd in it rite owner *tugz* damn andro,ok nt saying i wanna be an andro i rather gib anithing to juz get a proper bod hahah nt an andro bod but heck it juz looks realireali nice ,damn it hehe...

woo ok enuff abt me tokin abt stuff so hmmm dead,wellz these few daes been reali okiez, yesterdae went out wid sam,per n weijie i think wid pui and than meet dh n stuff and at last at nite we parted hehe... wellz hmmm nite wasn't reali gd, plans were like so crumbled fer thursdae i was dang pissed i could feel my blood rushing n boiling within my veins *eyes turn red* wellz i was kinda fed up but, heck bah~ i decided to cool dwn but i cun reali coz i was reali worried fer someone, stupid person sms me evening tym abt wad accident, than i sms back n din get reply,shees i was so dang worried,that i decided to stay up n wait even when i was so dang tired eyelids barely opening, and guess wad at 1 plus when i was abt to sms,tt person came back,i was so happy trust me i was close to tears and kept telling myself tt the person is alright =.=" *mumbleZ* made me worried so much fer nothing,wonder y i worry also hahahaha.... wellz the person told me a few thingz n ask me make a few promises i was like "woah y suddenly ask all those" i thought he xiang bu kai something coz everything is like so serious last nite, freaked me out a little tsktsk but guess i m ok now,tsk~ *yawns* yeah i m indeed still *yawns* but... i guess hmmmm not goin back to bed... gotta end now~ tonite will update if i feel so hehehee~

2003-05-24T11:31:00.000-07:00

-=hollow=-
::~*sitting on the swing,
moving slowly feeling myself cut through the wind undetected,
i look up to the starless skies,
so mani thingz have passed...
flashes of scenes juz replay over n over again.
so mani mistakes,
so mani roads turns tt are wrong.
Life of mine juz wear awae,
i feel so deeply dark,
so lost in the midst of the crowd,
a smile i wear that was nt true,
everything disappear and i stand on a ground empty except fer a rose...
sparkling new, was this i want in life?
wad is missing ....
i can't juz figure out wad is makin me feel so hollow....
slowly i touch the air,
it seeps through my fingers...
time...endless times...
on wingz i hope to be,
far awae from this dark n hollow place
when would tt be.... i dream of*~::

2003-05-22T19:50:00.000-07:00

-=posting a dae=-
*ah Choox* hikx been reali a long tym since i updated my blog,a terrible wellz also a nice week *dust the screen* hmmm maybe i should do a daily review hehe *rubs hands together*

Monday:hmmmm.... i rushed dwn to np after val told me tt matriculation was cancelled onli through mail tt was valid.Haha it was a great shock n woah was i under huge emtional changes tt dae =X wellz owner was worried abt her aunt, i was getting reali worried fer both her aunt n my skool wellz.... i hope n sincerely pray that her aunt is much beta now "auntie JIa yoU!"

tuesdae:wellz we had this movie informal outing haha wellz its kinda fun, fazel,michael,melvyn,augustine,jason,samantha,silver,da(hmm still duno his name),aaron,perlin,max,lester and me! haha we went to watch matrix but tt dae was freakin horrible at the fact tt hmmm i had the worst tym of my life on earth n in hell ( those who noes will understand) wellz all thanks to those nicely made painkillers n a few of those panadol extras that fei mao brought me a big "THANKS" to that :) and also to all who appear.Matrix reloaded is ok bah i wouldn't sae reali amazing but effects is reali gd wouldn't sae two thumbs up but maybe juz a thumb =) wellz after the movie most of em *poofed* leaving us a few eating n laffing.woah i ferget to mention tt earlier in the dae we meet to buy suga her present hehe in the end it was sam,perlin and myself tt choose those presents -.-" tsktsk and of course we should gib credit to the guys shouldn't we who manage to get a CARD -.-" hehee wellz neways,we left abt 10+ and its reali great , next movie outing i insist on CAMERA =X okok i be camera man/women/wateva =P.

wednesday:Let me guess class haix.... hmmm after class we went dwn town i got a few stuff n of course my beloved lighter =) wellz owner and me went walkin dwn town as usual and when this tony n guys guy came dwn and ask me to be in hse model fer their hair tingy i was like huh~ n owner was like giving me this killer look n tellin me " i need to go home soonx" whahahaha stupid owner but the guy has reali nice hair *blushes* hahha jokkin wellz din reali look at him more of owner telling me how he looks like =P.neways we went to eat LJS and of course went to shop fer her rings n did i tell u she pierced her ears hehe all thanks to me hahha who made her want to pierce.Wellz went dwn to cuppage to play pool... hmmm and headed home,tok to ah fei abt things n his guitar -.-" hmmm tt reminds me his strings *fumble ard*

thursdae:nothing much the usuals onli at nite i came back ard 00.30 woah i was like so bushed came online onli coz tt mao told me tt he missed me (yeah rite a great joke) and realise tt so mani ppl tokin to him *glare* wellz i was rather tired and suddenly on cc main ppl start goin nuts -.-" thanks tts wad i need when i have such a tiring dae... wellz missing b44 calls hahaha 4 times in exact was bad enuff (tsktsk) i missed a kopi session because of tt tsktsk,and so mani other thingz,owner went piak n so mani thingz aw yesterdae was reali woah.wellz the gd part was tt at least hehehe prince came online woah so long din see him ard was rather surprised when Dh told me prince is online hahha and lookin fer me *beams* wellz nah nothing at all juz missing a brother =P wellz slept earli coz i was nodding of on the laptop.tsktsk my eyes are like damn pain and till now my right eye seems rather pain n itchy *dang* hmmm okie signing off tym .

*closes the book and store*

2003-05-17T20:05:00.000-07:00

-=why...=-
::~*y am i showing so much care,
when i noe i shouldn't.
so much of u so much resembelance,
the wae u speak the way u grab my arm..
the touch and everything...
am i takin u as someone i miss and still misses.
am i juz replacing u as someone else.
y do u have to remind me so much,
grabing onto my past i hold it tightly
it passes through my fingers like grains of fine sand,
it slips through though i have clench it so tightly,
tears flow dwn..do i have to let go
but y yet i meet someone so smiliar.
wad game is this,a game i dun wanna play.
y am i feeling so sad everytym u shed a tear,
y do i feel like having u close to me yet i noe its wrong.
y do i juz wanna protect u from all harm.
its been a long tym since i felt this wae...
DANG
y.... y...y... *~::

2003-05-15T12:24:00.000-07:00

-=quizzez no.2=-
here is another few quizzez i take hehe i rarely take though here goes .....

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
grrrrrrr i m always tomboyish tsktks

Brown Eyes

What Color Eyes Should You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
hmmmm its already it wahahhaha

You ride cross-country. The marathon rider.
Pedaling for hours, shaving your legs, changing
flat tires and wearing spandex are some of the
things you'll do as a cross-country rider.

What type of mountain biker are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-05-15T11:58:00.000-07:00

Tomboy

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla
hahha goodness as always tsktsk....

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
hahha i always felt this wae worz =)

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
hmmmmm din noe i was tt hmmmmx....

Orange

What Color Rose Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

wooo one of my fav hehehhe =)

wellz did this quizzez coz was bored heheh wellz i got it off someone's webbie heheh so did it myself =P

2003-05-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

2003-05-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

::~*everytym i step into familar surroundingz,i feel a total crush in me,i keep lookin out fer the same chair,same familar scent of sea water ard me,that once we used to enjoy the company off.The waves crashes by the smooth beige sands,the laughter i remember we used to share,the dreams,wishes n hopes wid locked up in bottles n let it float,the contentment of juz having u close to me...Now i onli have those memories surrounding me, a pinch of bitter feeling, sometymz sweet sometymz totally bitter..but yet i thank you for those memories,fer those are the memories tt gave me hope of the other spieces... i was once lost n now on the usual path i muz take... i m scared of the dae i will turn back to wad i was before now...grabing onto memories n hope,i grasp it tighter hoping it would nt slip awae... nt through those gaps.i clench my teeth wid tears rolling dwn... i felt it tearing inside of me.Is this wad i m meant to be? was i meant to be someone else... or am i living in a world where illusions play ard.*~::

2003-05-11T00:18:00.000-07:00

-=nervous breakdwn=-
ok nt reali nervous breakdwn but i think physically wear out haha,yesterdae outting was great,though two individual groups are seperate,kinda hmmm....Rw n me meet earlier fer bowling its fun hehe but.... taxing,look at my leg now i can barely move at all wellz i din noe bowling could be tt bad maybe coz long tym din exercise hahaha..well after tt we meet bear n the rest at cityhall mrt station n we went to introbar hahha the price was woah at least tts how hmmmm the rest felt, i mean its dang natural fer it to be so ex,juz look at the surrounding n the atmosphere haha...we left w/o ordering n went dwn to blackbox to have a drink which i in the end have perry peach,gotta noe ppl from my table which is bear,fei,rw,samantha(blurie) and of course perlin who can't take caffeine wellz it was great and of course the ever thanks to fei who paid the bill THANKS =X,hahahha we than went of fer dinner where we meet fazel n gary(quiet guy) dinner was at hans and i meet xavier! woah long tym din see him reali change so much now so cute lookin wahahhaha..... at hans i looked into my plate n decide i cun eat fer once everything so... i gave bear my fries(wad to do gotta treat the pet nice).

we all than moved dwn to orchard where we headed to herrens n me n dh meet b44(derrick) woah he has this cute cheena face wahahhaha reminds me more of baby =X n we meet desmond and saw lebon there wid the rest n taki too(as usual) hahha,i dragged rw n fazel to see the pics at herrens wahhahaha.... wellz after tt we headed dwn to bring the whole group to see derrick hahaha.... i wonder y ppl now these daes keep saying they are shy esp the guys *ponders* hahha it was at tt time when i called roger to ask if is comin dwn, gosh been so long since i saw him... hope has doesn't have those blood shot eyes animore tsktks missed him a great deal =) as always he makez me feel like i m protected wahahhaa wellz more like a big bro =P.

we headed towards far east starbucks n fei joined us back from his dinner and des pop by awhile n so did immortal cun get his name =X hahahah wellz aniway... DH left n tt was when the group split... actually the group rite.....hmmm is broken into two from the start, wid jason,janice,vernice n john in one group wid val n dami in their own world hahah ,and the rest in another guess its reali hard aye hmmmm but afterall we did have fun n i was like so dead tired yawn n hahah made everyone look at me =.=" sheess wahahaha but yeah! it was a great dae...and was glad to noe everyone properly!*Hugz*

reached home energy came back alive.as usual than was on the fone till abt 3+ in the morning n slump into bed... owner was rather troubled duno wad happen also....haix wish she could feel beta later i goin dwn esplanade wid her i hope the nice atmosphere will cheer her up!

owner juz wanna tell u that i will never leave u,remember we went through alot of thingz n my frewn n sister kinda love to u will never change we will keep supporting each other through our darkest daes n shall be there fer each other be it happy or sad.... smile kaez i wanna see u happy =)

2003-05-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

-=east coast park=-
wellz enuff of anger venting =) hehe wellz todae was great! ok was nt reali great,went dwn tampi than went marine parade had bk wid owner hahha n tok abt stuff abt me potentially turning back n playing, a player both in love wellz....the thorn is bigger now hahah...piano was horrible,they got the timing mixed up thus i have to go back on mondae tsktsk than comes the bezt part... me n owner went dwn to ecp,sat at coffee bean with our mocha ice blend n treasure island cake n look out tokin abt stuff, our future our lives in the distant years ahead....

than we came up wid this idea, a cafe... was never much of a standing but as i slowly think abt it i realise yeah~ i would wanna a life where i can lean back n look into the distance knowing tt this is wad i wanna be.we walked pass this cafe i think its called beach garden or something near coffeebean n the rental bike area...its reali kwel they acutally put chairs in a row at the beach area wid candles, a resident dj n a whole of huge crowd...its something i inspire to do, let ppl enjoy the atmosphere of the world the nature =) wellz we headed back n here i m haha... OWNER we will do it one dae we will open something by our names be it seperate or together,remember preserverance heheh =P jia yoU~

2003-05-09T10:31:00.000-07:00

-=unstable world=-
the world is reali unstable,how true is this.... wellz i have all along thought the world been unstable but never would i noe i would meet some obnoxious ppl and some psycho ppl right at my screen front, ppl who are so full of emselfz.. never did i ever thought this kinda ppl co exist in our world i thought those who are like tt are a potentional mental case who deserve to be kept in an asylum and onli co exist in stories...they should be kept somewhere within close doors far far awae from us,so that they cun harm us physically n mentally....i have heard tt mutants mutate at teen hood, guess it goes the same fer the looney genes... some at late teens towards adult hood gosh...

never did felt such urge to blow my head over a gurl...i have always thought gurls are nt meant to be harmed off, but i was wrong how can some ppl be so blind.The one i noe juz simply need to be thought a lesson the hard wae,haven she realise that the world moves w/o her...no one is goin to pay attention... actually i kinda get lost abt her,its like she is alone in the world, unable to communicate wid ppl much,she scares those tt could sometymx...slowly she turns to the a few ppl only them could listen n understand her need fer world attention....i reali hope she could change before thingz turn fer the ugly.i have never reali hated her,tried so much to understand n be patient,but i guess i cannot take it animore,the place become both a war zone n hurl of emotions,gosh!hope she will change wid experience like wad jackson sae =)

another one so close to the screen were the other side of humanity,guess those who reali me noes tt i got this thorn fer guys,this hint of hatered,bitter n sweet...a huge ego of em n words they put through juz disgust me... nt everyone onli a few in particular, i shalln't name em...they are such disgrace to wad the rest of the world of male humanity,a total turn off and a total himbo.haha....

wellz i guess there are ppl like tt in the world, i have put my feelings fer tonite dwn,purely my impulse feelingz at a momment of spur... might be a little offensive but this is wad i feel at this pt.,i m ok n i wun blow totally cool n calm..the world is so full of these ppl guess world peace,let me repeat wid my soulful words..World peace is something tt cannot be attained,or rather impossible to attained, onli through inner peace than we can attain world peace =)

2003-05-07T09:52:00.000-07:00

-=bring the hse dwn=-
woah~ din update fer two daes, onli realise when feifei told me wahahhaa... ok i abit de slow i realise,aniway~ as usual met owner todae,or rather yesterdae n caught bring the hse dwn,its reali farni,nt sae extremely but fairly farni....how would i put it, it proves to us tt blacks can be reali hillarious n cute =X wellz at least i enjoy tt show very much, i would recommand to watch other than anger management,i did catch xmen2 a couple of daes before..... it was seriously n i mean SERIOUSLY much beta than the first one, considering it has more effects,n more role fer the diff main ppl....its worth ur cents if u r reali a huge fan... gees i m lookin forward to two other movie dates i have wid owner -Matrix reloaded and how to lose a guy in 10 daes,than its owner's turn to date me fer.... nemo n charlie angels hahaha.. guess we both are reali pet n owner... hang ard each other like 5 -9 hrs a dae n still can tahan the sight of each other... amazing =X

Ice man is definately someone i admire *woah* n rogue i definately would sae she looks prettier each tym i glance at her *envy* hehehe juz jokkin...these pass few daes been reali taxin on me, some how i always cun get to sleep no matter how tired i m, always ended up tokin to dd n fei n bear..till abt 3+ am tsktsk gees when will it be like the old tymz when hiting the bed is a heavenly pleasure hahah....

2003-05-05T00:20:00.000-07:00

-=thank you=-
hey...everyone its tym fer me to sit dwn from the hussle n buzz of the world,a little break to sit dwn n dedicate this section to the ppl who have made me to wad i m todae.

First and foremost i gotta thank god for being there even though sometymz i totally gave up in faith,thank you for nt abandoning me,and without him i would be here todae,thankyou fer makin a difference in nt onli my life but mani others...Ownerthanks fer walking my darkess daes with me,and always keeping a look out fer me,encouraging me,pushing me through,you will always be apart of my life no matter where our lives will lead us,u will be in my past my present n my future. kieren thank you seal fer bearing wid me fer the past 4 years where we share our secrets and our woos and joys together, thankew fer believing in me tt i can achieve in anithing, through u i see a stronger side of me thankew!

junkhee(pet),erin(mei),angel(mama) thankew fer always beingin there especially when i went under great transition,thanks fer all ur advice and crackin me up when i was in the dumps,and those late night talks...i m glad to learn so much from u ppl...i wouldn't be wad i m w/o u ppl...

junxiang(dee),micheal(RW),mingxin(bear),ling,silver, cincin n dv though i noe u ppl fer onli a short while,thank you fer all the support and patience n love u gave me n constantly encouraging me when i lose my grip, u ppl are reali great, i m dang glad i gotta noe u ppl thank you.....

to everyone else thank you without u ppl i wun be where i m todae, and without all of ur support i prob have broken into zillions of pieces,thank you so much!

2003-05-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

-=hollow=-
::~*i sat by the window lookin at the great big black sky,
its tearing again,
little by little i m falling apart once again,
bitter n sweet rolling dwn the bare skin,
suddenly i feel so lost and empty...
such hollowness tt i haven felt fer such a long time.
as those claws dig into my heart
and clench em tight,
i feel myself so hollow so heavy so lost....
and a tinny hint of pain.
as i fall back into the world of darkness *~::
hearing the good news from silver babe is reali great, i reali hope thingz will go very well fer em hehe they both have my support....but suddenly i felt this hint of emptiness and lost in me that i have nt felt fer so long...this pain.... is takin toil on me again....bits by bits its juz digging deeper.... haix... aniways owner i miss u bleah come back quick kaez!

2003-05-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

-=onegai teacher=-
hmmm... i dwnloaded this onegai teacher sortta mtv fer"shooting star" and found two nice poems in it,so i decided to type it dwn fer everyone to look at :)
"i tried to picture you crying
but i couldn't,
because you are always laughing.
Don't you remmeber?
you gave it to me...
feelingz..
words...
they are ...
shining withing me.
Always shining
Without ever being harmed..."-mizuho kazami

::~*i wanted "now" to continue without changing
but...
that isn't "eternity"
juz...
"frozen" time right?
thank you for teaching me
thank you for makin me realise
thank you...*~:: -kei kusanagi

2003-04-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

-=cartoon plasters=-
hehe nice title aye,tsk keeping in touch wid my kiddyself again bleah,went town n owner got her cartoon plasters cute cute esp tazzie =P aniway... let me roughly gib ya an outline of my dae, went dwn to sir and guess wad, mel n terry was there hahaha but i din see,they saw owner but i dun think tt owner noes em =X so nvm hahaha tsk so long never melon le =).we proceeded to town n got muah printer paper than we strolled n talk our way to taka n gosh i saw this nice quicksliver bag wooOhOO nice but big n so dang ex haix(looks into wallet),so i decided to gib it a skip =~ as we passed delifrance n looked dwn, we notice pinefoes hmmmm ain't tt jolene hahaha wellz yes it was so we dragged ourselves there,after leaving we meet juns than we walk to herrens n tts where hmmmm tens left us to be wid the group and per...si owner =X hahaha

aniway me n junz was abt to walk out n the skies open "BABOOM" hahaha after awhile the skies decided to take pity on our hungry stomachs n stopped raining,off we went bouncing to cine where i went to service my hp n eat lunch,than we went rolling to shaw to take "love hina" comics from huiting hahah(thanks) on our wae back we went dwn to isetan i think n i bought some nice temp stuff n dwn to body shop....the dae of roaming ended when juns n me decided to go bishan n i took vrOOmx back =X...
i thought the dae ended there haha but no*wags finger* somehow irc had some nice little war =.=" again tsktsk,sometymz i missed those peaceful nites, well my moods was lifted when twin called me hahah, he can be so dang cute n similar to me,tsktsk wad to do two of a kind =P gees am i getting bhb like him *shake head* cannot cannot =X guess i would wanna wish him bezt in getting wad he wan!!! tWIN if thurs u see this i juz wanna sae JIAYOU u can do it de!all of us got faith in u! jia you officer-to-be hahahah
ok lah i m lamein' ard tym to blog off =) nite ppls tmr i shall write something more constructive than lame jumble of words =X

falalalal wid each star dropping from the skies, i make a wish tt u will be happy forever, a simple but powerful wish, upon a star....

2003-04-27T09:11:00.000-07:00

-=minutes of life=-
::~*as the clock ticks dwn to 12am,
another dae would start,
but y can't i leave the memories behind.
those memories tt have haunt me fer so mani years....
i yearn to juz put dwn everything n be truely happy
nt worrying when its dark,
everything falls apart,
i m sick of this mask i m wearing...
i m grabing onto anithing tt can pull me out of this torment.
but y can't i...i feel everytym i decided to let go,i fall apart n wounds open...
i try to let go,but part of me wan to be wid u,
part of me would never let me forget u...
i maybe expressionless n cold,
but in me.. u r someone i cannot forget forever,
the pain i hide is such illusion to the outside world,
now i have lost u forever...
maybe this is wad i deserve this for nt treasuring u....
before...
so this is my last words before i close our chapter...
those words u never got to hear me sae wid my heart.
i love you*~::

i lost u,when i decided to leave u,its been 2 years plus since i saw u,but yet i cannot get u outta my head..i hope one dae our paths may cross again, as frewns =) tym fer me to let go of memories,i m trying i will n i shall, thanks so much fer the memories those wonderful precious memories,in my heart it shall be kept...

2003-04-25T18:16:00.000-07:00

-=get rid of it=-
hmmm seems my habit have turned into bloggin earli in the noon or morning hahahah,tsktsk could hab blogged at night somehow juz no urge to do it,aniway yesterdae evening meet owner(fer duno how mani tyms this week le) haha somehow have this kick to get rid of my N6250 tsktsk maybe too much horrible memories or maybe i juz din like it*shurgs* i m goin to go n dwngrade myself n get a 8250 which i love so much n lost =.="*bites air*...aniway i got my 6610 in hand so no nid to worry much abt fm radio n i hab juz bought new earphones another gd thing hahah so i can play my darling discman wid no worries...

after my piano i got the dual sim card slot for my 6610 =) n after tt we went ecp, intending to go to starbucks or was it....the other one(dang juz nt in my brain) hahaha but we never reached there coz we kinda saw this chior of ghost which nearly scared us outta our wits, aniway after tt we headed back... guess tts the end of the dae for yesterdae hahahahha..todae a new begining *yawns* and maybe a better dae,hahahha guess seeing owner again =.=" y dun i ever get sick of her... wellz simple, coz she is my OWNER =X

2003-04-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

-=sunshine=-
ok i noe wad a duh title rite haha,wellz i din blog last nite too tired, duno y like something drained my energy from me *shunders* wellz tsktsk let me recap last nites events,nothing much was normal n irc chattering nite i guess,was tokin to a few of my frewns when the art of netsplit came abt again, everyone was lagging so i decided to watch "x-men" haha after downloading it fer so long(all thanks to dv) =P...gee wad ppl sae abt it is true a expensive trailer of x men, reali lookin forward to x-men2 and matrix reloaded haha hope its much beta like they promised...

wellz a few suprising events todae, MEL yes MELON hehehe came back =P*bounces* after SOoO long she finally came back, bezt part is tt she din even tell me until i saw her online yesterdae =.=" still as mad as eva hahaha...hmmm other than tt was surprised when an came online haha long tym din get to tok to him,haha but he had to go off to study,tsktsk the nite kinda ended earli coz i was pretty much damn tired,was suppose to catch the takeshi show after wedding planner,but hahah din hab the energy...my nite ended wid the radio playing smoothly to "chi pang" by lin jun jie..

::~*as music played softly at the background , lookin up at the starless skies,
another dae has ended,a halt to the world,where most asleep in blist...
another bz morning for some on the other side,but for us its tym to end our dae,
reflect on life and enter the world where peace is a promise ....*~::

2003-04-23T23:10:00.000-07:00

-=at last back=-
*wipes dust of the blog* geez been so long since i last wrote a blog,no wonder its collecting dust,tsk my preception of life to have change,it seems i feel much lighter than before( last year o level period),ever since i came back from holidae, life been a great change, so does the world haha and so is my social circle.maybe its tym to open a new chapter of life again wid this blog.

ppl change ard you, even ur closest frewns,they disappear at tyms n reappear the next min, life is full of uncertainty,we meet ppl we hope to never meet,sometymz it doesn't pays to be too kind to ppl..they get over ur head n tend to think its funny, recently i juz meet such a horrid guy,who has harmed more than myself but other ppl.sometymz u wonder y there are such mutants in our society, mutanity not to physical abitlities but more of mental state(i sound so mean, but yez he is like tt).Life in this path of being wad i should be, has been reali unkind to me in its first few pages...meeting the wrong ppl,but now i meet someone who is indeed close to me,someone who cares n watch over me no matter wad,all i can sae is thanks...but its been a blist in someways meeting new frewns such as ling,suga,razorwind,dj,anan and mani more,who encourage me when i needed tt little push haha thanks guys... as my life continues,journey will be full of steep hills n rocks but hope i can pass it through smoothly =).lets end here fer a opening of my new blog.till then...... may arc angel spread his wingz n protect u in ur journey of life

::~*looking through the eye glass*~::

::~looking through the eye glass~::